Verum Quod Eventus
by stolenxsanity
Summary: Jasper has a fated meeting one night that finally allows him to let go. But, will it only be temporary? Originally written for the “Tattward and Inkella One-Shot” Contest. OOC. Slash. JxE
1. Veritas

**Title: **Verum Quod Eventus**  
Chapter: **01. Veritas**  
Author: **stolenxsanity**  
Characters/Pairings: **JasperxEdward**  
Rating: **M/NC-17**  
Spoilers: **None; AH/AU

**Summary: **Jasper has a fated meeting one night that finally allows him to let go. But, will it only be temporary? Originally written for the "**Tattward and Inkella One-Shot**"** Contest**. OOC. Slash. JxE

**Disclaimer: **_Twilight _and all recognizable characters belong to SMeyer, _Verum Quod Eventus_ belongs to me.

**A/N: ahizelm** is responsible for the writing of this slash!fic. She prodded, I said one day, and apparently one day is now. Le Sigh. Luckily, I love her and this didn't turn out as horribly as I'd expected. Miss **RAEcouter **and **ahizelm** beta-ed this little piece of work and I shall owe them eternally for making sure this was all squared away on such short notice. You both are _fucking amazing_ and I can't thank you enough. The ever-lovely **vi0lentserenity** helped with the early stages, pushing me in the right direction and offering suggestions. Love you something fierce, bb. And no worries, you have not been replaced.

* * *

"_Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most importantly, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary_." – Steve Jobs

* * *

**[JPOV]**

_Veritas._

I traced each of the seven letters etched permanently onto the inside of my forearm with a meticulous finger. The familiar motion had me wondering when I'd finally start adhering to the singular-worded motto I'd set for my life. It was simple enough to ascribe to, in theory. In both Latin and English this mantra translated into a basic human philosophy, _truth._ To have to question when I'd truly walk my life, with this at the center of my purpose, easily unveiled the implications of my own self-denial. In practice, however, the repercussions of ascribing to this well meaning notion could permanently damage the career I'd worked long and hard to carve out for myself. All virtuous thinking aside, the Military's policy on the matter was quite plain with no room for interpretation: _"don't ask, don't tell._" But pretending to be something – _someone_ – that I wasn't was wearing on me. I wore a stifling mask and carried on with an exhausting façade because, at one point, _this _career had been all that I'd wanted.

Now, though, my priorities had changed exponentially. I was tired of pretending to be someone else and definitely tired of being in this absolute farce of a relationship. I loved Alice for everything that she'd done for me over the years, and for accepting me so completely despite the fact that she had hoped for more between us. The problem was I loved her as if she were my sister and it was awkward to act like we were anything more. Alice was, without a doubt, beautiful on the inside and out and she deserved the happiness that being in a legitimate relationship could bring; a happiness that she wouldn't be able to find by being tied down by this selfish charade.

"I was SSG Jasper Hale Whitlock: my father's pride and my mother's joy. Growing up I excelled far beyond anyone else in everything that I set my mind to, regardless of what it was. As a gay soldier, however, I was bound by contract to a job that refused to tolerate homosexuality in any way. It was a mess of my own making, that was certain, and I was at a complete loss on how to fix it. I had, long ago and with complete understanding, chosen to accept that certain _lifestyle_ choices would not be tolerated while pursuing a military career. As a young man, barely of age with the world wide open before me, I'd thought _that_ was what I wanted; what I needed to fulfill the dreams that my parents had for me. How could I possibly keep any promise to myself that would ultimately disappoint my family and ruin the life that I had created? No matter how I dissected it, there was only room for one part of who I was. Either I was living honestly or I was a Soldier.

"Yo, Whitlock," my annoying roommate, James, called from the direction of the common area as I sat at my desk lost in thought. "A few of the guys are going out tonight. You're coming, right?"

"Where are y'all going?" I drawled out lazily, not really interested in keeping my carefully constructed wall in place for any length of time, at least not tonight. There was too much on my mind and I didn't have the energy it took to continue playing my part.

"Femme Nu," he responded, popping my door open and leaning into the frame as he wriggled his eyebrows at me. "Where else would we be going on a Friday night? Strippers and booze are the only ways to celebrate the end of a work week."

"Strippers and booze, James? Really?" I muttered with disgust, plucking a cigarette from the pack beside my hand and lighting it quickly. "Don't you guys have anything better to do than sit in a strip club ogling naked women? We're living in _paradise_ for fucks sake."

"Jasper, just because your little pixie of a girlfriend prohibits you from having some good old-fashioned, male inspired fun doesn't mean you need to rain on _our_ parade." James made his way into my room, settling himself on the edge of my bed like he owned the place. "Maybe if you'd grow a pair and stop leaping and cowering at her every word, you'd understand why we go there every week."

"For your information, James, I don't need to ask Alice's permission to do anything. I just don't find entertainment in objectifying women."

"Whatever man, it's your loss. When the warden relinquishes her grip on your manhood, let me know."

I rolled my eyes at his retreating back before propping my feet up on my desk and reclining in the chair. This hadn't been the first time James and the rest of the guys in our unit had tried to get me to go out with them. Actually, it had been a similar invitation that had prompted me into asking Alice – begging, really – to be my pseudo-girlfriend, providing a justifiable excuse as to why I constantly passed on their voyeuristic escapades. Alice was my safe-haven and anchor in this crazy world that I lived in and the first person I had really gotten to know when first stationed at Schofield Barracks in Hawai'i.

It had been my second day here and, already tired of all the drinking and partying going on at the Barracks, I'd decided to drive around for a bit to get acclimated to my new surroundings. After an hour or so of seemingly endless side and back roads that appeared to go absolutely nowhere, I'd stumbled upon a little building advertised by a big and bold sign reading, "Sunny Side Bakery." I parked quickly and strolled inside only to be greeted, the moment I stepped through the door, by the tiniest ball of pure energy that I'd ever met. It had been an almost instantaneous connection, and within minutes we were talking to each other as if we were old friends reunited. I told her things that I'd never shared with anyone in my life, least of all someone that I hadn't even known for a full day, and it had just felt right. I even unveiled my sexual orientation, the one thing that I was careful to never let slip for fear that it would get back to my command. This practice wasn't built out of paranoia, just precaution. I couldn't afford to be discharged at this point in my life, honorable or not. Unfortunately, I didn't miss the fleeting look of sadness that had passed over Alice's face when I mentioned that I was, in fact, gay and couldn't help the completely irrational guilt that I felt over disappointing my first real friend in what seemed like forever. She had recovered quickly, though, offering to go with me to any one of the handful of gay clubs the island had to offer.

The sounds of _Animal I Have Become_ blared from my cell phone, indicating a text message. I didn't need to look to know that it would be from Alice suggesting some form of entertainment for the night that would, undoubtedly, be a hundred times more appealing than what James had offered earlier.

"_J – Cheesecake Factory in Waikiki 7? Meet me there; I'm still over at the water park with Cyn. XX"_

I responded to her query hastily in the affirmative with a request to check out Dark Side Tattoo after dinner and plugged my phone into its charger. If we were going to be out late – a definite possibility when Alice was involved – I'd need to be sure I had a full battery.

I was on the road soon after that, having taken a fast shower before dressing and practically sprinting to my car. Traffic here was nowhere near as bad as I'd experienced in the states, but I still didn't feel like sitting in my car for two hours as we inched along on the freeway. The after work gridlock mixed with the heat of the sun burning me through the windows was enough to drive me slowly insane. Despite the standstill, I knew I'd still arrive earlier than Alice had instructed, but it was preferable to making her wait for me.

Just as I'd predicted, I was parked and meandering through the International Marketplace by a quarter after six. It would be a nice, leisurely stroll from here to the end of the strip where the hotels merged into wide open beaches before the beautiful sight of Diamond Head obstructed my view. I toiled the time away, strolling through the many stands dotting the area, thinking of the reason that I had finally decided to get another tattoo. The first – my failed pledge to myself that I wore with shame – had been done the day I'd turned eighteen. It had been an act of rebelliousness that ended up meaning far more than initially assumed. I'd chosen it shortly after accepting the fact that I was sexually attracted to men. Years had been spent trying to force myself to be "normal" – at least by my skewed standards at the time – and I'd failed miserably. It didn't matter how many girls I attempted to hook-up with, it had all been in vain. Though physically attractive in every way, their bodies had done absolutely nothing for me.

I had been sixteen at the time and, once word had reached my sister regarding my less than stellar performance in bed, she would not stop hounding me; constantly asking if I was gay because those girls had been _almost_ as stunning as she was. Humbleness was never Rosalie's forte. Her words then had hit far too close to home, and I reacted the only way I'd known how to at the time; with bitter and biting words that barely concealed my humiliation. Even now, when we talked on the phone, the awkwardness permeated the transmission. She was very old-fashioned in her way of thinking, as were my parents, and they would never understand that I hadn't set out to be gay. It wasn't as if I'd woken up one day and consciously decided that I liked guys. It killed me having to hide this part of myself from my family, especially when the constant inquiries came about whether or not I had found a "nice girl to bring home and meet the family" yet. I could just imagine the looks of horror on their faces when – _if_ – I ever came out to them. There wasn't a doubt in my mind that my father would disown me on the spot, and that knowledge was a bitter fucking pill to swallow.

My aimless steps halted in front of the restaurant, and I pulled my phone out to check the time while craning my head over the crowds of tourists to try and spot Alice's head of pitch black spikes. Finally spotting her, I made my way closer and offered her an arm. Despite the stereotypes that were frequently thrust upon men who served in the armed forces, I had been raised to be a gentleman and I refused to lower myself to anyone else's standards. Alice grasped the offered elbow, with a quick kiss on the cheek, and allowed me to lead her around the crowds.

Dinner was the typical affair. The food was great, the company even better, and I found myself relaxing exponentially; my earlier mood quickly forgotten. Alice always had that effect on people; her naturally energetic and friendly demeanor drew in everyone she came across with ease. Once again, I considered myself lucky to have met such a wonderful person and immersed myself in the playful banter and easy conversation.

"What's with the request to stop by the tattoo shop later?" Alice finally asked, her curiosity getting the best of her.

"I was thinking about getting another tattoo and wanted to get it priced, and done, tonight if possible," I responded with a shrug of nonchalance. "Unless you had other plans; I know that movie you wanted to see hit theaters today and if you'd rather do that, it's fine."

"No, no. I don't mind going with you. In fact, I was thinking about getting a tattoo myself." She grinned shyly at me, picking at the Godiva Chocolate Cheesecake that still sat on the table in front of her. "I've been toying with the idea and trying – which has been a vain attempt, might I add – to work up the nerve."

I chuckled silently at the thought of Alice having to "work up the nerve" to do anything as I stole her dessert away and dug into it with fervor. "You know, Al, I can just picture a cute little fairy on your hip. It'd be fitting."

"Absolutely unoriginal is what it would be, Jasper Hale Whitlock, and I refuse to be another fucking cliché," she huffed out, arms crossing tightly over her chest. "Besides, I had Cyn draw something up for me. It's just the execution that I seem to be having trouble with." A frown marred her face as she watched me eat her dessert before she clapped her hands together forcefully, gesturing toward our waiter for the check. "We might as well get this over with now," she quipped, responding to my look of childlike petulance at not being able to finish the cheesecake. "Now stop pouting and get a move on. If we hurry, we might be able to catch the late showing of _Public Enemies_."

Her sweet and innocent smile, coupled with the fluttering of her eyelashes, belied her true intentions and I choked out a laugh, pushing the plate away. "That's fighting dirty, Miss Brandon, and you know it," I chastised her playfully, handing the waiter the folder containing our receipt with my credit card tucked inside. "Johnny Depp _and_ Christian Bale in one movie is not something that can, in good conscience, be missed. Ever."

We made our way through the streets teeming with people back to our cars, laughter ringing out into the air around us. "Al, I honestly don't know where I'd be right now if I hadn't met you."

"You'd probably be sitting in some disgusting strip joint staring at your hands or the table while your _friends_ leered at anything and everything with two legs," she stated rather bluntly, a serious look on her face before she burst into giggles. "And honestly, that's something that I'd really love to see."

"You'd love to see me looking all awkward and uncomfortable in a strip bar?" I asked with my eyebrow arched incredulously as I looked at her.

"Well, yea. It'd be interesting to see how you reacted to a situation like that. I'm not saying that you _should_ do it, at least not with James or the rest of them. But, are you telling me that you aren't the least bit curious?" We were standing between both our cars now, my keys dangling from the tips of my fingers as I regarded her with scrutiny.

"Al, you ask that as if I've never seen a naked girl before."

"It was just a fleeting thought, J. No need to get your underwear all in a twist."

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

We drove to the tattoo shop separately, Alice following behind me in her bright yellow Audi R8, music blaring out the open windows. I watched in my rearview mirror as she danced to Cyndi Lauper's _Girls Just Wanna Have Fun_ and couldn't help laughing. It was a fitting song for her, and she hammed it up like no one else could not caring one bit if anyone could see her. A very big part of me wished that I could be as open as she was, not wasting time worrying about what other people thought or how they reacted.

One eighty's pop song later we were standing on the sidewalk, both staring at the door to Dark Side Tattoo. Nervous excitement suffused the air around us as Alice beat out a staccato rhythm with her fingernails against the hood of my car. Her face scrunched in contemplation and completely devoid of color.

"You know that you don't need to get anything tonight, right?" I asked, needing to comfort her in some way before she passed out on me. "It's not like I'm going to make fun of you if you don't go through with it." My hand captured hers, ceasing her incessant tapping as I laced our fingers together. "Let's just go in and see about getting mine done and if you feel comfortable, you can ask about getting one too."

"Right," she swallowed thickly, brushing her free hand through her hair and tugging on the array of spikes. "No commitments."

"Exactly! Now, let's get a move on before I toss you over my shoulder and carry you through those doors."

"That actually might be better; it seems as if my feet refuse to cooperate with my brain at the moment. If you don't mind, of course. But – uh – not over your shoulder. Turn around." I followed her directions, rolling my eyes as I faced the opposite end of the dark street stretched out before me. "Jas, you need to squat down … unless you're expecting me to climb up your back like you're some fucking tree." Exasperation rang in her voice as she grasped my shoulder and pulled down so that we were the same height.

I felt her arms come around my neck, hitching one leg over my hip while resting her head on my shoulder. "Ready when you are," she breathed out as I lifted her other leg, grasping both calves in my hands, and stood up.

"You're acting as if you're seconds away from facing a firing squad, Alice."

"Needles scare me," was her stilted response, fingernails digging into the skin just above the top of my shirt. "And before you say anything, my ears were pierced when I was a baby. I didn't have much choice in the matter."

We were standing just in front of the tinted glass door now, and I could feel the confusion on my face. "If you're scared of needles, why get a tattoo?" I asked, really fucking curious to hear her response.

"Face your fears and all that jazz," was her prompt reply, one dainty hand fluttering in the air around my face as she spoke. "I have to find a way to get over it some time, and I highly doubt I could just walk into the doctor's office and ask for a shot. They'd have me committed in a heartbeat." I watched in the window as she lifted her head off my shoulder and met the gaze of my reflection, resolve glinting in her steel-grey eyes. "Now, will you open this damn door already? I'm wearing a skirt for fucks sake and I've counted five cars pass by since we've been standing here."

"You kiss your mama with that mouth of yours?" I asked, repressing the chuckle that wanted to come out as I pulled the door open.

She snorted loudly, burying her face in my shoulder, her entire body shaking with laughter. "I could ask you the same thing, J," she finally managed to stutter out, wiping the tears that had gathered in the corner of her eye. As suddenly as it had started, her laughter stopped and a sharp gasp was expelled from her lips.

"What are –" My voice died in my throat when I turned my head to see what it was that had quieted the ever-excitable Alice Brandon. I felt her lithe body slide down my body, chest pressing into my back until her feet hit the floor, heels clacking loudly against the tile.

"Be with you in a moment; feel free to check out the art while you wait." The voice was masculine and husky, crushed velvet laced with pure sex. His words were interspersed with the persistent buzzing of a tattoo gun as he leaned over the table in front of him hard at work. Well worn blue cotton stretched across the taut, straining muscles of his back, a sliver of skin peeking out between the hem of his shirt and the waistband of his jeans. The distressed denim hung loosely around his hips, falling a fraction lower than it should have, but his current position provided a nice visual of what appeared to be a _very _nice ass. My footsteps faltered momentarily as I frantically tried to rein in the primal, yet normally dormant, instincts that were clamoring at me to just _jump him_. My eyes were the one apparently uncontrollable element, as they hungrily absorbed the array of inked designs, intertwined and vibrant against every visible inch of his fair skin. I could feel my fingers twitching; the desire to trace each one of those lines causing a physical reaction.

And then he stood up straight, back arching and arms in the air above him as he stretched before turning around. My breathing faltered as I took him in from heel to head. The deep blue shirt – which I'd previously admired, stretched across his back – clung to him, sleeves tight around his biceps and showcasing the amazing musculature of his chest. Wind bars curled sinuously around his left arm, merging into a delicate, Oriental inspired design of dragons, Koi fish and an intricate Japanese scroll. A five-line staff adorned his right, circling his forearm, inked notes telling a story to those who could speak the language. I watched, enraptured, as his fingers raked through his hair, tugging at the artful disarray of copper colored tresses. It was the perfect illustration of 'sex-hair' and I had to fight down the urge to walk over to him and run my own hands through it, reveling in the feel of his silky strands sliding through my own fingers.

I was so caught up in my blatant staring that I almost failed to notice Alice's incessant prodding of my back, the tip of her French tipped nail irritating the skin below my shirt. I tore my gaze away from the magnificent man standing in front of me, courteously inching away from the door to allow the previous client access, and looked to my side, my eyebrows raised in question. "Is there a problem, Al?"

"Not unless you consider standing here, completely fucking silent, for the past five minutes a problem?" Her witty and truthful retort caused a blush to heat my cheeks, face flaming from the embarrassment of being called out.

"I was –" I was what? Admitting to staring at the fucking Greek God of a tattooist standing behind the counter? Though true, I doubted confessing such would be in my best interest.

"No explanation necessary, J." A wink and a smile told me Alice knew exactly what I'd been doing. Of course she knew, she was Alice and Alice knew everything. "I think he's waiting for us, though." She nodded her head in the direction of the counter and bounced ahead of me to lean against the glass. Her melodic voice carried over to me, the timber of his words interjecting every so often. I finally collected my shit and walked up behind her slowly, admiring all the pieces of art that decorated the surrounding walls while I steeled myself to enter the conversation.

"You're going first," Alice informed me with a poke in the side, interrupting my musings. "I'm not quite feeling that comfort you spoke about outside yet."

I nodded, swallowing thickly as I thought of –

"And this is Edward Cullen, the tattoo artist here."

_Edward_. The antiquated name fit him.

"He's informed me that there are no other appointments tonight, so I guess you should explain to him what it is you want."

In that moment, I was grateful for Alice's no-nonsense attitude and presence but also _almost_ wishing that I hadn't invited her. If I'd walked in here alone, I doubted I would've been able to go through with it. Any of it. Just the thought of having _Edward's_ hands on my body, even in the most innocent of ways, lit a fire within me. It had been far too fucking long since I'd been with another man and standing here now made me feel the price of all those years of applied restraint. With Alice here, I couldn't back down. She was persistent to a fault and would push me until I gave in. Plus, if I was being honest with myself, despite the fact that I wasn't sure if I'd be able to handle having him touch me, I wanted his hands all over me.

It hadn't escaped my notice that throughout the back and forth between Alice and me, he'd remained steadfast and quiet, eyes lingering on the pair of us; keenly observing, questions dancing in his deep jade irises. A smile flirted at the edge of Edward's lips as Alice kept up a running commentary on everything that decorated the tiny shop, and for a moment, I wished that I could hear what he was thinking. The way he watched Alice move around the room, brimming with excitement and curiosity, had me seeing green and I cleared my throat loudly to gain his attention.

"Sorry about that," he murmured, returning full attention to me, the truth of his words apparent in his features. "She just seems the type that commands center stage the moment she sets foot in any room." I nodded in acquiescence, pulling the piece of wrinkled computer paper from my pocket and smoothing it along the counter top. Metal clicking against metal caught my attention and, from the corner of my eye, I watched as he nudged the ball of his tongue ring against a thin hoop in the corner of his lip. My eyes glazed over and I could feel my heart pounding erratically in my chest, sweat gathering at my brow line.

"I - uh –" I paused for a moment, trying to get a grip on my overt reactions to this man. "This is the basic idea of what I want. The lettering is already done, I've had it since I was eighteen, but I wanted to touch it up, make it darker. I was also thinking about adding a little color to it, in the shading maybe?"

The clicking ceased as Edward leaned forward, one palm flat against the counter while his fingers ghosted over the back of my hand. I inhaled deeply through my nose, his light, momentary touch causing an angry horde of butterflies to erupt in my stomach. Edward fingered the paper, head tilted to one side as he studied it inquisitively. "How do you feel about a solid black outline and a crimson red, like blood, for the shading? Possibly making it look like it's blistering from the flames?" I could feel his fingers flitting against the skin of my forearm as he outlined what he pictured for the overall look of the tattoo. "The flames … you could have a few falling away, down toward your wrist and ending in the star."

I studied the drawing for a moment before answering – an attempt at regaining my quickly fading composure – as I tried to imagine how what he'd described would look on me. "I really like that," I finally responded, exhaling in a quick huff when he moved his hand.

His finger brushed over the drawing again, tracing the sides of the nautical star, a pensive look on his face. "Do you know what some people believe the modern definition of a nautical star tattoo is?" I knew what meaning he was referring to just as sure as I knew my own name. I hadn't, however, expected to be questioned about it. The design was typical for service men and women, an allegory of protection and guidance. That was the easy explanation for my decision, the same explanation that curious co-workers and friends would be getting if they ever cared enough to ask. Right now, though, I didn't know how to respond. Would my admission provoke further questions, ones that I wasn't quite sure I was ready to answer?

"You don't have to answer that question," his words broke through my silent ruminations, bringing me back to the present as he slid the design out from under my hand. "I'll need to measure the existing ink before I can prepare the stencil." His lips curved up into a deliciously crooked smirk as he studied me. "Just take a seat over at my station." He gestured toward a chair in the corner, a playful glint lightening his captivating eyes. Such obvious enjoyment made me assume he really loved his job.

Edward worked steadily for the next few moments, gaze traveling back and forth between the design I'd brought in and the ink already present on my arm. Every so often the back of his hand would brush across mine causing me to exhale sharply, eyes sliding closed in reverence as his touch lingered. I could feel goose bumps erupting up and down my rigid form and couldn't stop the slight shiver that followed.

"Is this what you envisioned?" His voice was much closer than I'd expected and I opened my eyes to find his face, green irises glimmering in the light, right in front of mine. I nearly groaned out loud as I inhaled deeply, his smell permeating my senses; ink and paper mixed with the clean scent of soap. It was absolutely mouthwatering and it took every ounce of self-control I possessed not to pull him into me at that moment. I wanted to taste him, touch him, and feel every inch of his pale, inked flesh beneath my own.

"It's –" I cleared my throat quickly, pushing the sudden influx of nerves aside. "That's exactly what I had in mind."

Edward smiled again, a full one this time and his face glowed with pride. "Just give me a second to set everything up and we'll get started."

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

I relaxed further into the chair, breathing deeply and willing my body not to respond to the nearness of his. It was a futile attempt, and I could only pray that it went unnoticed. His long fingers were wrapped around my elbow, holding it steady; the monotonous buzzing of the tattoo gun piercing the otherwise fairly quiet room. Alice was seated on my opposite side, one hand resting on my thigh, her wide eyes watching the needle's progress.

"That doesn't hurt, J?" She asked in a whisper, fear creeping into her voice as she flinched away.

"It's like a dull stinging, I suppose; not painful, though, just a little uncomfortable." I focused, then, on Edward's hands; the light brushing of his knuckles against my forearm and the pleasurable grasp on the curve of my arm. A steady thrum of electricity ran through me, a constant from the first moment he'd touched me earlier. I watched as he swept his tongue across his lower lip, deep in concentration, every pass tempting and taunting me mercilessly. He had been quiet through the duration, his eyes fluttering from his work on my arm to my face and then over to Alice, pausing occasionally to bite down on the bar through his tongue before continuing with his task.

"How long have the two of you been dating?" He asked nonchalantly, feigning intense focus, fingers contracting and releasing.

"I – we – what I mean is that –" I continued to stutter, trying desperately to find a way to answer this question without tying Alice to me in any way. It appeared to me that they had a mutual liking for each other and who was I to stand in the way of that? Had I not been thinking just hours prior that Alice deserved the happiness that being in a legitimate relationship would bring? Of course, I hadn't considered that the first person she'd show interest in since I'd made it clear that there was no future for her and I would be someone that I so desperately wanted to feel against my own body. Preferably nude.

"What I believe he's trying to say is that we aren't dating." It was a statement – a _true_ statement – but it hurt for reasons that I couldn't seem to articulate. "Best friends, definitely. There's no one that knows me better than Jasper and vice-versa."

"Really?" Edward's tone was laced with confusion as his sure movements faltered, the green of his eyes darkening infinitesimally as they met the blue of my own. "I was sure that you two were, you know, together. The way you came in here, carrying her on your back like that." It had been Alice who had answered his initial question, but it was me he responded to, something heady clouding his lingering stare.

"I asked him to carry me because of the whole 'fear of needles' thing. My feet wouldn't cooperate with my brain." Alice shrugged, turning her attention to me again. "Do you want me to call and find out what time the last showing of the movie is?" I nodded my head mutely, once again wishing that she wasn't here, even if just for a second.

"You're more than welcome to join us, Edward." Her phone was pressed to her ear, pink and white lights flashing brightly along the side. "We're watching _Public Enemies_." The look on her face was one of intense scrutiny as she watched Edward, analytical almost, as if his answer would end the recession or solve world hunger.

"I wouldn't want to impose." The buzzing of the gun stopped and he wiped the blood and excess ink off my arm one final time before retrieving a mirror from his workstation. "What do you think?"

I was, quite honestly, at a complete loss for words. He'd taken the simple concept I'd handed him and turned it into something otherworldly. I'd heard rumors, of course, that the owner and operator of Dark Side Tattoo was the best in his trade, at least in the Islands. But seeing it firsthand, on _my_ body, was an experience in and of itself. "It's – fuck –" My words trailed off and I didn't miss the way Edward's focus dropped to my mouth, an emotion flitting over his face too quickly for me to put a name to. "It's fucking _perfect_. I – thank you."

"It was truly my pleasure, Jasper," he replied, that fucking smirk back in place on his gorgeous face. "Trust me." I stared at him for a moment longer, propriety warring with the absolute, carnal need that I felt. I_ wanted _him, consequences be damned. I'd spent far too long and worked much too hard over the years, denying everything that I was for appearances sake. Now, though, staring into the eyes of the first man in a long time to evoke such a reaction from me, the world I lived in and the things that I wanted were shifting. I couldn't look past him or what reacting this way meant for me one minute longer.

The tinkling cadence that belonged solely to Alice successfully broke the moment, and my attention was drawn to the tiny woman that stood just inside the doorway. One hand was planted firmly on her hip as the other flailed in the air – her rarely used Bluetooth clipped over one ear – agitation clear in her features. "Fine, I'll be home soon," she finally huffed, tugging again at her wayward strands. "I'm still in town so it'll take me awhile, but I'm coming."

I rose from my seat quickly, pausing momentarily when I felt a slight pressure across my ass followed by a ghostly chuckle. Shaking those thoughts aside, I strolled over to Alice swiftly, tugging her hand from her hair. "Sugar, if you keep doing that you're going to go prematurely bald."

Alice sighed, her hand falling to the side as she leaned her head against my chest. "I have to go. That was Cyn on the phone and she's absolutely beside herself. I couldn't understand a word she was saying except the repeated pleas for me to come home."

"It's perfectly fine, Al. You do what you have to do and we can go to the movies another time." She nodded in concession, leaning back slightly, her eyes flickering between Edward and me rapidly. After a moment's thought, she smiled brightly, patting my hand lightly.

"Walk me out, J? It's late and I don't know this area very well." I detected a hint of something else in her request, but didn't question it. Even if she hadn't asked, the gentleman in me wouldn't have allowed her to venture outside, in the middle of the night on such a deserted street, alone. We walked to her car, side by side, both of us seemingly lost in thought. Reaching the driver's side quickly, I plucked the keys that she'd pulled from her purse out of her hand and opened her door.

"Jasper," Alice's hand brushed against my cheek softly, pain emanating from her entire being as she stood there, one foot in the car and the other on solid asphalt. "I know that there was never a chance for _us_ but, I've always wanted you to be happy. You can go on and on about how this –" she tapped pointedly on the dog tags that lay hidden beneath my shirt; "– is what you want, but I know better. You're not happy, not truly at least, and you won't be until you can be yourself. Stop masquerading, it's not very becoming." The smile that lit up her face off-set the harsh truth of her words and I was thankful for that. "Besides, J, there's a hot piece of ass in that shop that wants you, and if I know my best friend – and I do – you want him just as bad. Take him to the movies instead; you don't need me being an awkward, chattering third-wheel." With a kiss on the cheek and an ominous "_trust me, I know_," she disappeared into the dark interior of her car and pulled away from the curb seconds later.

I walked back to the shop, barely registering my movements, deep in thought. I never imagined that my inner turmoil would be so obvious to anyone but myself. Then again, Alice wasn't like every other person I knew. She was perceptive and observant, intuitive almost to a fault. It should've come as no surprise that she'd recognized this and call me on it without hesitation.

"Is everything okay?" I stared at Edward's inquiring mouth, not realizing that, while lost in thought, I'd made my way back inside and was leaning against the counter.

"Yea, she just had to get home … something happened with her sister." I ran a hand over my head roughly, wondering about how I should go about inviting _Edward_ to the movies with me. Would it seem too presumptuous? And what if she was wrong about him? Though, to be fair, she'd never been wrong about things before, at least not when they mattered. But there was a first time for everything, and I wasn't sure if I could bear being rejected by this man.

"I was – uh –" I paused, trying desperately to gather my thoughts. "I know Alice mentioned going to the movies earlier and … well, I have –"

I stopped mid-rant as Edward's face inched closer to mine, our bodies separated by the long counter between us. His warm breath washed over me and my eyes shifted down instinctively as my hands clutched at the counter's edge in an effort to keep myself grounded. I knew that if I met his eyes, I would see that same smug look, lips curved crookedly as he stared me down. I could practically taste him on my tongue; sweat and ink and just _Edward_. I felt his hand come up and brush against my forearm, finger tracing the outline of the nautical star he'd just permanently engraved on me. "Is it safe to assume that you _do_ know what some consider the modern meaning behind such a tattoo?"

I bowed my head further in confirmation, wondering at how I'd misjudged his intentions earlier in the night. I had been certain that it was Alice he wanted with the way he'd watched her so intently; almost as observant in her every move as she had been with his.

"Is that the reason you got it; the meaning behind the design as a whole?"

I nodded, unable to respond in any other way. My arms ached from the death grip I had on the metal framing but my brain had stopped firing on all pistons the moment he'd moved closer to me, the blood rushing to my groin, the honesty of the moment weighing on me. Edward's fingers still moved along my forearm, trailing heat and spark, the flames threatening to devour me.

"Truth." It was a statement; a fact with no other meaning to derive from it. It was the cause of my contempt and utter shame, but in this moment, with his skin on mine and his lascivious gaze piercing me, everything else fell away. Only Edward and I remained, locked in some sort of battle of wills confined in this tiny space. The heat that he trailed along my flesh with every touch threatened to consume me entirely. I had never wanted anything as much as I wanted him in this moment.

"Look at me, Jasper." His lips moved against my ear, and unable to deny him _anything_, I lifted my head, blinking rapidly as the harsh fluorescent light assaulted me. "You were asking me something?"

"The – uh –" I couldn't think straight. My mind was a chaotic mess of soundless visions, awash in desperate longing. He was _right there_; lips hovering inches from mine, the silver orb peeking out between them. And I was so fucking _hard_ from nothing more than his feathery touches, heady scent and that smug as fuck smile. "Movie?" It was a breathy exhale, all air and no substance.

"What do you _really_ want?" A war raged internally; desire against decorum, intrigue against uncertainty. Edward was prodding me to react and I was powerless to resist. With a breathless "_you_," I pressed my lips to his as my hands ran up his arms, settling comfortably on his shoulder. After a moment's hesitation, Edward's lips began moving with my own. The kiss was a slow and sensual build-up, triggering the sensitivity of every single nerve ending I possessed. He traced my lower lip, tentatively at first, the coolness of his tongue ring causing a groan to erupt deep in my chest. My dick was hard and throbbing insistently, pressed between my body and the front of the display case, as his hands moved behind my neck, pulling me closer. I opened my mouth to his, swallowing his ceaseless moans as our tongues met, tangling together in tandem.

Edward broke the kiss, leaning his forehead against mine as his fingers ran back and forth beneath the chain around my neck. "I didn't think you had it in you," he murmured, eyes alight with lust. "But, this counter is in the way and I don't think my chair would be very comfortable for what I have in mind now."

I was breathing heavily, my mind still caught up in the feel of that fucking fantastic kiss, as I fought to process what Edward had said. "What –" He caught my bottom lip between his teeth, nibbling on it softly, before I could finish my question.

"You're free to say no," his breath caressed my face as he pulled away again, eyes imploring and vulnerable at the same time. "But, do you want to get out of here? I don't live far and here –" one hand fell from the back of my neck, gesturing around the room, "– probably isn't the best place for this."

I wanted to say yes, every cell in my body was screaming at me to reply in the affirmative – toss caution to the wind and just live for the moment. Alice's earlier words ran through my mind unimpeded as I contemplated my answer. _You're not happy, not truly at least, and you won't be until you can be yourself_. "Remind me to buy Alice a pair of shoes, or something," I finally muttered, sliding my hands back down his arms slowly. "Now let's get out of here."

His answering smile was brilliant as Edward unwound his hands from around my neck and rocked back on his heels. "Let me cover that tattoo up first," he responded, fingertips brushing over it again lightly. "And I'll meet you out front after I lock up."

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

We pulled into the parking garage of the Waikiki Townhouse high rise not long after as I followed behind him, desperate to feel his touch again. I could still taste him on my lips – in my mouth – and I needed more. Any previous hesitations I'd had all but dissipated the moment he pulled me in. I slid into the stall beside his, putting my car in park and turning it off hastily. The interior of his Mustang GT Convertible lit up, the illumination throwing his features into sharp relief. As he opened the door, an unwarranted moan escaped my lips. He was so _fucking_ beautiful; that was really the only way to describe him, masculine or not.

I tried to get out of the car slowly, with a measure of control, but my movements were rushed and excited. Edward stood by the trunk watching me, predatorily as one of his hands slid beneath the hem of his shirt. The unconscious movements of his hand brushing across his lower abdomen drew my attention downwards. As I gulped audibly, he smirked, turning on his heel and began walking toward the elevator bays along the far wall.

I was still frozen in place, trying to remember how to breathe correctly as I admired his built back and firm, round ass. Finally, I abandoned my daze to follow him; my lungs still constricting as we approached his building. "I thought you'd changed your mind for a second there," Edward murmured, his hand brushing across the front of my jeans absently as we stepped into the waiting elevator.

"Not a chance," I responded, wrapping my hand around his wrist and pulling it higher, proving the honesty of my words. "I don't particularly feel like taking care of this on my own."

"Mmm, now that'd be a travesty," his lips grazed the side of my neck softly as he spoke, my body trembling at the contact. At the resounding ding of the elevator, Edward moved away from me, walking backwards into the hall. "Coming?" His lips curved into a teasing smile, full of innuendo and promise, as he leaned against the door directly across the hall.

"Not yet," I muttered as I followed him, both my hands resting palms on either side of his head. "The night is still young, though." Edward crushing his lips to mine was his only response. Purposefully and proficient, one of his talented hands wrapped around my back, fisting my shirt, while the other blindly worked his key into the lock behind him. My mouth found his jaw line with lips and teeth, feeling the light stubble that covered his chin as it scratched against the side of my face.

The door opened suddenly, slamming into the wall behind it as we both tumbled through the entryway. "Shit," he murmured lowly, grabbing onto the side table to steady himself while closing the door, fumbling to slide the deadbolt into place. I wrapped my arms around his neck, my fingers running languidly through the hair at the nape as he reversed our positions, trapping me against the door this time with his entire body. "I think I like this position," Edward whispered in my ear, running his tongue around my lobe before biting it softly. I could feel the evidence of just how much he _liked_ our position pressing into my hip, and I moaned out loud as I grabbed his ass to pull him closer.

"_Fuck_, Jasper," he hissed, grinding his pelvis into mine harshly. Our kisses were frenzied, absolute need taking precedence over everything else. I slid my hands up his long torso toward his back, gripping the hem of his shirt and pulling it up over his head as we broke apart momentarily. Following my lead, Edward repeated my actions, tossing my shirt to the side as soon as it was free. I attacked his chest, suckling and tasting his skin with ardor. I could feel him fumbling with the button and zipper on my jeans before finally getting it undone and pushing them down.

We were both breathing heavily, sharp gasps punctuating the air between us. Edward traced the well-defined contours of my abdomen deftly, sliding his right hand beneath the waistband of my boxers while he licked and sucked at the hollow of my throat. I was moaning freely as he palmed my rock hard cock, my head falling to his shoulder. "God, that feels good." My voice was rough with arousal as my hips bucked forward, needing to feel more.

I reached down between us, wresting him from his jeans swiftly. A low growl broke free as I glanced down; fully realizing my hand was only meeting skin. "Commando?" I asked breathlessly, lifting my head to rest against the door so I could see his face.

"I don't see you complaining," Edward quipped as he wrapped his hand around my cock, stroking me teasingly.

"Not at all," I drawled out, running my hands down his chest, fingers lazily tracing the intertwined Tribal patterns. My train of thought was interrupted as his motions sped up, my dick growing impossibly harder at the action. "God … _fuck_," I growled out, eyes rolling to the back of my head.

"God's not here," warm breath ghosted over the side of my face as Edward spoke quietly, lips moving down to the erratically thudding pulse point in my neck. "But, I am." His thumb slid over my tip, spreading the pre-cum before continuing his ministrations. A thin sheen of sweat emerged on the skin beneath his tongue and insistent, wandering fingers making me consider my trembling legs and blurry vision. It was a wonder I was coherent at all.

Edward didn't slow the motion of his hand enveloping my shaft from base to head, but did maneuver an inch of space between us so he could find my eyes. "We should take this to my room," he whispered, licking along the underside of my jaw. I nodded in concession, at this point willing to follow him anywhere, as he wrapped his arms around me to lead by the waist instead of by my swollen dick.

Reaching the room first, and then his bed, Edward pushed me lightly onto the downy blankets, straddling me before I'd hardly made contact. Naked, firm, and – _god_ – so hard, his body pressed me into the mattress and my mouth filled with his hot breath and seeking tongue. I wrapped my hands around his hips and pressed him into me, needing the delicious friction of our cocks rocking together. "Fuck, that feels good," he muttered, as he ground into me harder, desperately.

I tugged his hair at the roots as he bit down on my nipple softly before sucking it into his mouth. Gripping one another tightly - his hold on my shoulders, mine venturing to his parting ass - our encouraging moans and helpless pants reverberated through the room. Edward's name fell from my lips in hoarse pants as he moved down my body, tracing the dips and lines of my stomach and caressing across my hipbones. Following his lead, I lifted my hips subconsciously as he tugged on the waistband of my boxers, sliding them over and down my legs and tossing them to the floor.

I gasped loudly, breath heavy and fucking frenetic, as he ran the tip of his nose along the underside of my dick. Angling my head down, I watched as his tongue circled the head of my cock, his intense gaze focused on my face.

"Fuck, Edward. Please … more," I groaned, head falling back in pure bliss as soon as his mouth was full with my cock. His tongue flitted back and forth, massaging me as his head bobbed up and down. I felt his hand come around me again, gripping me at the base. My eyes closed tightly, reveling in the feel of his hot mouth on me, around me, all fucking teeth and tongue and lips. I couldn't control the incoherencies that were erupting from my mouth unchecked as he hummed around me, the vibrations causing me to thrust into his mouth.

"Oh fuck – God, don't fucking stop," I begged, hands gripping his hair tightly, guiding him as he continued sucking, harder and faster. Edward took me deeply, the tip of my cock hitting the back of his throat with every thrust, the ball of his tongue ring connecting with the underside of my shaft more, as I fucked his mouth. His hand continued moving up and down, meeting his lips halfway as the other snaked between my legs and began massaging my sack. I was utterly lost in the moment, broken, breathless pleas for him to continue pouring out into the atmosphere. I was so fucking close, I could feel my erection growing harder, throbbing in his mouth and, _fuck_, it felt so good. If only it would never end _and _I could come, that would heaven.

"_Fuck._" Acknowledging the depth required to actually feel his nose brushing against my pelvis like it was doing now had me coming _hard_ down his throat. "Oh my fucking God," I growled out as I finished pulsing and he released me from his mouth with a pop, licking his lips with a smile. I struggled to control my breathing as he crawled back up my body lithely, attacking my mouth with an enthusiastic kiss before lying beside me.

I brushed my hand back and forth over his still hard cock, more than ready to return the favor, until he stopped me, a lazy grin on his face. "Later," he whispered softly, nibbling at my chin with his teeth. "The night's still young, remember?"

* * *

**A/N: ***ahem* So, um, did ya like? All the places used above are real places, just so you know. My nerves are absolutely shot. Review and let me know what you think, bbs.

**Verum Quod Eventus:** Literal translation is "Truth and Outcome" but roughly translates to "Truth and Consequence."

**Veritas:** Truth

**Don't Ask, Don't Tell:** The common term for the policy about homosexuality in the U.S. military mandated by federal law Pub.L. 103-160 (10 U.S.C. § 654). Unless one of the exceptions from 10 U.S.C. § 654(b) applies, the policy prohibits anyone who "demonstrate(s) a propensity or intent to engage in homosexual acts" from serving in the armed forces of the United States, because "it would create an unacceptable risk to the high standards of morale, good order and discipline, and unit cohesion that are the essence of military capability." The act prohibits any homosexual or bisexual person from disclosing his or her sexual orientation or from speaking about any homosexual relationships, including marriages or other familial attributes, while serving in the United States armed forces. The "don't ask" part of the policy indicates that superiors should not initiate investigation of a service member's orientation in the absence of disallowed behaviors, though mere suspicion of homosexual behavior can cause an investigation. (Source: Wikipedia)

**SSG: **Acronym for the Army Rank "Staff Sergeant"

**Nautical Star: **The nautical stars were originally used by sailors to help guide their way as they sailed through the night. They relied upon the stars to protect them and bring them home safely. A lot of soldiers get nautical stars for the same reason... protection. It is a symbol of protection and guidance. However, in recent years, claims have been made that the nautical star is a symbol for homosexuality.

**Personal Note:** Whether or not the Nautical Star is actually a representation of homosexuality is debatable and _not_ widely accepted.

**Flames/Fire: **As a tattoo design Flames or Fire may represent transformation, destruction, change, passion, a beacon of light and knowledge and serve as a warning to the wearer.


	2. Fidelitas

**Title: **Verum Quod Eventus**  
Chapter: **02. Fidelitas**  
Author: **stolenxsanity**  
Characters/Pairings: **JasperxEdward**  
Rating: **M/NC-17**  
Spoilers: **None; AH/AU

**Summary: **Jasper has a fated meeting one night that finally allows him to let go. But, will it only be temporary? Originally written for the "**Tattward and Inkella One-Shot**"** Contest**. OOC. Slash. JxE

**Disclaimer: **_Twilight _and all recognizable characters belong to SMeyer, _Verum Quod Eventus_ belongs to me.

**A/N: **First and foremost, I'd like to thank everyone who reviewed the one-shot and voted for it in the "**Tattward and Inkella One-Shot**" Contest. There are no words for how absolutely stunned I was at the response I received. So really, from the bottom of my heart, thank you. To Miss **RAEcouter** and **ahizelm: **bb's I couldn't have done this without you. Your beta'ing and motivational awesomeness knows no bounds and I love you both dearly. Le Holster, **vi0lentserenity**, I know that you aren't beta'ing this one, but your faith and belief in me is one of the few things that keeps me writing. **Whitlock's Girl**, thank you for the recommendation on **TwiSlash Unveiled** and for the pimpage in general. And lastly, to my _Unofficial Preview Crew_, **naelany, gyspysue **and **dannie7786**, thank you for going over this for me at it's various stages of completion and, when it was necessary, nudging me in the right direction.

* * *

"_Loyalty lies within one's self. If you cannot be loyal to yourself, how can you be loyal to those around you?_" – Sue

* * *

**[JPOV]**

My eyes swept over Edward's upper body, tracing the dips and lines of his lean frame as I struggled to control my still ragged breathing. A stalking panther decorated his torso, clawing its way upwards, streaks of torn flesh and blood marking its ascent. My fingers followed the trail my eyes had, lightly ghosting over his body; almost reverent in the fluttering touches and soft caresses. Everything about Edward drew me in magnetically, a force that couldn't be fought even if I'd tried. I didn't want to fight it, though. _Not at all_. He had awoken in me a desire – an unrelenting urge – that I had spent years forcing into submission for the sake of my job. In one night, all that work – years of practiced and perfected restraint – had fallen to the wayside and I couldn't find it in me to care. For all the sacrifices I'd made and all the truths I'd spent my life denying, I deserved this. I deserved him – _Edward_ – in whatever capacity he offered.

The urge to taste him, the sweat-tinged skin mixed with the heady scent of sex lingering in the air, tempted me incessantly and I tore my gaze away from his lithe form, momentarily, to take in his face. Perfect, angular features, green eyes darkened and hooded with lust and slightly parted lips made my decision for me. I crashed my mouth to his again, pulling my entire body over his and sliding my hands through his hair, tugging at it slightly. I could feel his hands digging into my hipbones, holding me firmly, possessively. The sounds of our moans and sweaty flesh moving smoothly against each other filled the room as we kissed, tongues tangling together vigorously.

I could feel Edward's hard cock pressing against the inside of my thigh reminding me that he'd yet to have any kind of release. A groan rumbled from deep in my chest at the thought of tasting him, feeling his dick in my mouth and just giving him the same fucking pleasure he gave me. I tore my lips from his, nipping softly at the curve of his jaw while slipping my body down his, licking, nibbling and sucking on every inch of his hard, muscled flesh that my mouth came in contact with. He tasted so damn good and I couldn't help but imagine having this – having _him_ – every fucking day for the rest of my life. Edward fisted the back of the ball chain that my dog tags hung from, gripping it tightly while his other hand ran a circuit up and down the length of my back. To be touched so continually, with absolutely no inhibition, was intoxicating and deepened my arousal exponentially.

"_Fuck_, Jasper," Edward moaned as my tongue traced the sinuous lines of the panther, nipping at his skin sporadically as I continued tugging on his hair. I resumed my trek down his frame, pausing momentarily to suck on the skin at his hip, staring intently into his piercing green irises until he clamped his eyes closed and pressed his head into the pillow beneath him. "That is – _fuck_ – so good."

I hummed in response, smiling to myself at the realization that _I_ could initiate this reaction from him, despite the fact that _he_ was a God among mere mortals. The cold metal of my dog tags pressed against my sweat drenched chest that. In any other situation, the stainless-steel symbol would have made me stop and rethink my actions but for the first time _ever_, all it did was remind me of everything that I'd spent my life denying and didn't want to deny any longer.

With that thought, I slid lower, rubbing the side of my face against Edward's inner thighs lightly as his breathing picked up, chest heaving laboriously and brows furrowed. His head lifted slowly, watching me with hooded eyes, the smirk that he'd so thoroughly teased me with earlier in the day replaced by a lazy grin. I kept part of my focus trained on his face as I ran the tip of my tongue around the head of his swollen cock, tracing the ridge slowly; teasing him with promises of what was to come. I pulled away slightly, smiling a little when he whimpered – _fucking whimpered_ – at the loss of contact, his hands fisting the sheets roughly, begging me with his lustful gaze and sharp pants.

"Stop _fucking_ teasing me," Edward growled out, inhaling deeply as I took him into my mouth, teasing the underside of his dick with my tongue as my fingers wrapped around the base tightly, stroking and twisting, my movements in perfect synchronization. "Fucking hell," Edward muttered eyes clenched tight and barely coherent. "Your mouth feels so _fucking_ good." I continued my ministrations, flying high on the fact that _I_ did this to him, as I slid my free hand between his legs, stroking the crease at the juncture of ass and thigh before running the tips of my fingers over his sac.

Edward's neck muscles strained as he threw his head back and I followed the taut lines, reveling in the way he felt in my mouth and the taste that was so intrinsically _him_. And, _fuck_, he tasted amazing; salt-tinged sweat and velvety smooth skin, a stark contrast to the steel-rod like hardness that I couldn't help but imagine in places other than my mouth. So caught up in my own actions and thoughts, I failed to notice his grip on the sheet loosen until his hand curled around my neck, blunt fingernails digging into the skin at the nape as he pulled me closer, holding me in place, as he gave in to the urge to thrust into my mouth; his cock hitting the back of my throat with each erratic move of his pelvis. And _fuck me_ if it wasn't turning me on even more in the process.

Breathy moans and deep groans filled the room, occasionally interspersed with the occasional '_fuck_' and my name. I could tell that Edward was getting close as his already labored breathing became harsher, ragged and shallow, beads of sweat trailing down his firm body in steady rivulets. I hummed around his hard length, the hand between his legs massaging, coaxing him along, desperate to make him come and give him the same pleasure he'd given me. In a surprisingly gentle motion, his hand fisted my hair as he mumbled incoherently. His breathing was shallow and uneven, and soon enough, I could taste his release as it slid down my throat.

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

Slightly muffled buzzing interspersed with a persistent beep invaded my subconscious as I rolled onto my back. I idly wondered why my bed was actually _comfortable_; a stark contrast to the hard, lumpy, twin-sized Military issue crap we had in the Barracks, but quickly brushed the thought aside, attributing it to the very life-like dream I'd had the previous night. I didn't need to look at a clock to know what time it was and I opened my eyes slowly, not yet ready to leave the confines of my fantasy bed. Unfortunately, years of rigorous training didn't grant me time to loiter and my eyes opened fully, only to close again as I blinked rapidly, taking in the room around me and the feeling of cool sheets against my overheated, naked skin. _What the fuck?_ Last night's _events_ rushed back to me, glaring pictures laced with arduous moans, slick, sweaty flesh and vibrant designs. _That was not a dream_, I mused internally, languidly stretching the tense muscles in my back and neck before standing and scouring the room for my clothes.

The muted sounds of music – undoubtedly classical – filtered through the walls, rousing me even further as my memories trace inked notes adorning muscular forearms. I finally found my clothes hanging over a chair in the corner of the room, my cell phone – the source of the noise that had awoken me – resting atop it and I dressed quickly, quietly and introspectively. I'd crossed a self-imposed line last night, giving in to my baser instincts and, as much as I felt like I _should_ regret it, I couldn't; I wouldn't, either.

I left the room slowly, thigh muscles straining beneath rough denim, trying to figure out what the proper protocol for such a situation would be. Did the fact that he'd left the bed mean that he just wanted me to leave or was he trying to eliminate any awkwardness beforehand by leaving me to wake at my own leisure? My mind went back and forth, constantly vacillating between the option of getting the hell out of Dodge and strolling through Edward's home in search of him when my steps faltered just outside the entryway to what appeared to be the living room. The far wall was made of glass from floor to ceiling, a sleek, black baby grand piano positioned to take in the view of the high rises and hotels littering the paradisiacal landscape. Edward's back was to me, hunched over and shirtless, a perfect depiction of a set of wings covering nearly every inch of skin. The right side was typical, clichéd almost, with whites and grays forming a near perfect imitation of one side of an angel's wing. It was the left side, though, that really drew my attention; black and red intertwined together intricately, defined spines ending in tattered and jagged edges. _Angel and demon, heaven and hell, dark and light, good and bad. _My eyes took in the words that flowed around the curves and edges of the wings in flawless script; _a light from the shadows shall spring_.

Edward's fingers moved across the ebony and ivory keys with precision and ease as the early morning sunlight streamed through the windows, casting the room in its glow. I watched as the muscles in his neck and shoulders contracted and released with every slight movement, following the lines that covered his flesh, disappearing below the waistband of his sleep pants. I tried to focus on the here and now, stay in the present and _stop_ fucking ogling him from behind, but all I could think about was the way his body felt over and under my own, his hands everywhere and his mouth on my rock solid cock. My hand dropped to the front of my pants as I silently adjusted myself, head tilting to the side and eyes flitting between Edward and the entryway rapidly.

"Do you plan on standing there all day?" Edward's voice was full of laughter as his hands stilled and he glanced over his shoulder, smirking at me as he gestured toward the window wall, pointing out the reflective qualities of glass. My face heated in embarrassment and I ducked my head down, chin tucked into my chest as I ran my hand over the top of my head roughly, cursing my idiocy.

"I didn't mean to just fucking stand here and stare at you like some creepy fucking stalker or something," I huffed out, agitated and turned on all at the same damn time.

"It's not as if I didn't enjoy it," Edward murmured, shrugging his shoulders nonchalantly as his fingers resumed their movements across the piano keys. "Were you leaving?" Such a simple question, that in any other situation would be easy as hell to answer – yes or no – but I didn't want to risk sticking around if he wanted me gone or leaving if he, for some reason, wanted me to stay. I rocked back on my heels, hands digging into the pockets of my jeans, as I contemplated my options, trying to best determine the one that _would not_ make look like an utter fool. Did I want to stay? If I was being honest with myself, yes. _Fuck yes; _I couldn't think of anything that I wanted more right at this moment. _Except, maybe, a repeat of last night; I definitely wouldn't say 'no' to that. _

"You don't have to stay if –" Edward paused, his body still and rigid, the lack of sound enveloping the room suddenly. "I know that you aren't exactly free to do this –" his body turned toward mine on the piano bench, hand gesturing between the two of us before settling on his thigh. I quirked my eyebrow at him, confused as to what he was talking about; it was both interesting and slightly awkward to witness him – the same man that had been so cocky and sure of himself the just last night – looking flustered and at a loss for words. Noticing my confusion at his words, he stood from the bench and strolled toward me. His steps were slow and uncertain, succeeding only in puzzling me even further.

Edward was inches away from me before I'd had the chance to really analyze his _strange_ actions. His hand hung in midair between us, fingers tentatively fluttering before lightly tracing the thin silver chain that hung around my neck and pulling the dog tags from beneath my shirt. I looked down at it for a moment, the repercussions of last night bubbling to the forefront of my mind fleetingly before I managed to push them back down, silently refusing to feel the disease of regret my profession had saddled me with for far too long. His thumb slid back and forth over the face of the tag, tracing the indentations before releasing them and sliding his hand around the back of his neck and turning toward the window.

"If you have to leave, it won't offend me." Edward muttered his voice barely audible even in the resounding quiet of the room. "I just don't want you to think that I – that what happened last night is something I do often."

I paused for a moment, considering Edward's words and actions, comparing them to my memories as he stood at the window, staring out over the busy streets littered with tourists and Lincoln Town cars. Never once had the thought crossed my mind that I was just some random guy, but I couldn't deny the utter relief I felt at _knowing_ that I wasn't just one of many. Without consciously deciding to, I moved toward him, trapping his half-naked form against the glass wall with my arms, my body pressed firmly against his back.

Unable to help myself while being in such a close proximity to him, I ran the tip of my nose along the side of his neck, exhaling unsteadily as a scent that was so potently _Edward_ assaulted my olfactory senses. I ran my tongue down the same path, reveling in his sweat-tinged taste, sliding my hands down his arms, light fluttering touches tracing the designs there before continuing their trek over his sides and gripping his hips. Edward's breaths were being expelled in sharp pants as I ran the tips of my fingers beneath the waistband of his pants, teasing both him and me with the barely there touches. My lips, tongue and teeth joined the action, traveling across the back of his neck and along the side of his jaw until I reached his ear.

"That was never even a thought," I whispered breathily, struggling with the torrent of emotions that had crashed down on me, before taking his lobe into my mouth and sucking on it lightly. Edward's hands dropped from their spot on the window in front of him and covered mine, pushing them into his hips further, desperately, as he leaned his head forward, his breath fogging up the glass with every exhale and _fucking_ delicious moan.

"I just – _fuck_ – didn't want there –" His words were cut off as a deep, husky groan resonated from his chest as I bit down on his neck, sucking the skin into my mouth, one hand resting on his abdomen, pushing him back into me, as the other dipped into the front of his pants, feeling the solid flesh and searing heat.

"Did you want me to stay?" I asked, my lips still settled against his pulse point, feeling the erratic thudding just beneath the skin. Edward responded with a breathless '_yes_' as I gripped him harder, his head dropping lower as he watched my movements underneath his clothing. With a confidence I didn't know I had, I stepped away from him, breaking all points of contact between us and leaned against the front of his piano, eyebrow arched and arms crossed over my chest. "Prove it." I drawled out, my southern accent coming through thicker than I'd intended.

I waited for Edward to turn toward me, my eyes falling to his crotch once he did before running up the length of his body and meeting his lustful gaze, eyes darkened and narrowed. Anticipation mixed with adrenaline, coursing through my veins as he stalked toward me, movements graceful and controlled, that smirk – _that fucking smug ass smile that made me want to jump him even more _– firmly planted across his face. He leaned into me, his hands sliding over the top of the piano until his body was flush against mine, and nipped at the corner of my mouth while inhaling deeply.

"_That_ wasn't very nice of you," his breath fanned against the side of my face as he spoke, lips moving against my jaw with each word. "Now tell me," he paused momentarily, kissing me firmly on the mouth as his right hand slid up the back of my shirt, pressing me forward as he pushed back, eliminating even the smallest of spaces between our bodies. "How exactly would you like me to _prove it_?" He finished, his forehead leaning against mine as we stared at each other, the silence only broken by our labored breathing and the slight brush of denim against cotton.

My cell phone vibrating against my thigh and the sound of Alice's ring tone piercing the air broke the growing sexual tension, and Edward rocked back on his heels, his hand sliding around to my stomach before he broke the connection with a crooked smile. I cursed Alice mentally as I fished the device out of my pocket, cringing as I checked the time before answering with a nervous '_hello_.'

Alice and I usually spent Saturday mornings together, at the bakery talking and eating if she had to work or at a nearby diner if she was off. Knowing her, she had probably been imagining the worst this entire time, waiting for me to either arrive or call.

"_Jasper Hale Whitlock_," her voice was more relieved than worried and I chastised myself for forgetting about her and our plans. "_Where the _fuck_ are you? God, I've been waiting for you for the past two hours – two _fucking_ hours – waiting for you to either get here or call. I even called James, for fuck's sake, trying to find you and when he said that you never got back last night … do you have any idea what's been going through my head?_"

"Calm down, Al, I'm fine, promise. I just – the meeting this morning slipped my mind and I didn't notice the time until I got your call." I prayed that she wouldn't ask where I was, sliding my free hand into my pocket.

"_Okay, you're fine; I can certainly hear that now, but dammit J, where the fuck are you?_"

"I'm still in Waikiki at – with Edward," I muttered, knowing that it was best to just get that out there or she'd hound me incessantly with questions until I did.

"_Oh. I – well, are we still meeting up today or do – are you going to stay out there?_" Timidity certainly didn't suit her and I felt like a complete ass for bailing on the only person I'd always been able to count on because of a guy.

"No, I'll be there. Where do you want me to meet you?"

"_I'll meet you at the front gate … you probably need to shower and change, don't you? I'll just hang out in your room while you get ready and ignore James like I usually do if he's around."_ I confirmed our plans before disconnecting the call and replacing my phone, torn between meeting Alice – it wouldn't do to alienate my best friend, especially since I needed her advice more than I ever had before – and wanting to stay and continue what I'd started just moments ago. With a resigned sigh, I turned toward Edward, his head bowed over the keys in front of him and fingers resting lightly against it, his only movements were that of his back rising and falling with every breath he took. The flood of light that shone through the window behind me bathed him in its yellow-orange hues, the wings on his back standing out boldly against his pale flesh. _Fucking beautiful. _

"You and your inclination to stare mutely, Jasper …" Edward's words trailed off, humor suffusing his tone as he tilted his head, looking up at me through his thick eyelashes, amusement dancing in his deep green irises.

I returned his smile, feeling the corners of my eyes crinkle at the action, genuinely amused at the dichotomy he presented; one moment Edward was full of confidence and staggering sex appeal and the next he was awkward and uncertain, smug smiles belying slight nervous twitches. Yet, all that just made him that much more desirable and endearing.

"You're hard not to look at." I admitted my weakness on full display as I reassured him that my upcoming departure was not from lack of desire.

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

I tried to calm myself as I drove away from Edward's apartment, air conditioner on full blast and music cranked up beyond the recommended decibels. Alice's interruption, though unwelcome at the time, had given me a chance to think everything through coherently, the cloud of lust that had been hovering since being in Edward's presence thinned with every mile that my driving put between us. He'd given me his number, slipping it into the pocket of my jeans as he traced erratic patterns against the skin of my lower back. I knew what I wanted in my clear headed state of reflection and what I wanted was behind me, in the comforting confines of the high rise apartment building I'd just been summoned from. But, I also knew that what I wanted wouldn't _be_ easy; wouldn't _come_ easy. I'd never been one to shy away from hard work, but I also needed to figure out if this – _if Edward_ – was worth the consequences that my actions _could_ bring about.

Forty-five minutes later, I walked into my room, Alice strolling in ahead of me and sprawling atop my bed after grabbing one of the many photo albums my mother had sent off my desk. She spared me a cursory glance, one perfectly arched eyebrow lifted as her hand hovered near the corner of the book ready to turn the page, before she gave me a small smile and continued with her perusal. I listened as she hummed quietly to herself, pausing sporadically to watch me as I paced back and forth across the room, the near silence not doing anything in the way of helping me deal with the thoughts that were running rampant in my head.

"J, you're going to wear a hole into the floor if you don't stop walking back and forth like that." Alice's voice was followed by the muted thud of the book closing and the slight rustle of the bed as she sat up, her knees curled up to her chest as she rested her cheek atop them, gaze scrutinizing and sharp. "Go shower so we can get out of here. We can talk once we're on the road … and I'll drive."

Wordlessly, I made my way to the bed and hugged her before placing my phone on the desk; the piece of paper with Edward's phone number on it tucked beneath it and gathered a change of clothes. My shower was rushed, the guilt I felt over having kept Alice waiting for most of the morning winning over the need I felt to just stand below the steady stream of water and relax. Soon I was standing back in my room, gathering my phone and wallet before ushering Alice out the door and back down to the parking lot.

We drove in silence through the mostly empty streets, the music played softly, filling the car with comfortable background noise as I leaned my head back against the leather seat and closed my eyes. I needed to talk to Alice, and I was certain that she wouldn't let me remain uncommunicative – it just wasn't in her nature – but the lull in conversation was relaxing. As the car slowed minutes later, I lifted my head and opened my eyes, smiling at the sight of the Highway Inn in front of me as Alice informed me that she'd already place a phone order and sent me inside to pick it up. I did so happily, practically fucking gliding through the doors and to the counter, beaming at the cashier as I paid and collected the bags of food – breaded ahi and fried shrimp according to the receipt.

I settled back into the car, planting a quick kiss on Alice's cheek in thanks, before digging into the fried shrimp fervently. I hadn't realized just how hungry I'd been until we'd gotten to the restaurant and the various aromas that invaded my senses caused my stomach to grumble in protest.

"Where are we headed?" I asked around a mouthful of food, eyes intent on the decadent platter in my lap.

"Tsk tsk, J, didn't your mama teach you that it's not polite to talk with your mouth full or was all that '_southern gentleman_' talk just for show?" Alice turned to look at me, the smile playing at the corners of her lips belying the stern look she was giving me. "And don't you dare eat all that shrimp, I'm pretty damn hungry myself, what with you making me wait all morning."

"I said I was sorry about that," I responded after swallowing, staring longingly at the remaining shrimp. "And you didn't answer my question … where are we headed?"

"Pali Lookout, it's a clear day so it'll be nice up there." Her expression was wistful as she wove her way through the midday traffic, barely keeping to the speed limit.

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

The usually packed parking lot was sparsely populated and only a handful of cars littered the area as tourists struggled against the strong winds in an effort to get to the head of the foot path that wound around the mountain side. I got out of the car slowly, one foot propping the door open so that the gusts wouldn't slam it shut on me. Finally, I made my way to the other side, holding Alice's door with one arm while she got out, using my body to block the brunt of the air currents.

"I don't know if I'll ever get used to how windy it is up here," Alice yelled as she pulled her jacket tighter around her. Chuckling at her statement, I wrapped an arm around her, guiding her toward the picnic tables that lay hidden behind tall Koa trees, seeking refuge from the cold air that flowed ceaselessly around us.

"Do you know the history of this place?" I asked as we settled on opposite sides of the table, the food spread out between us as I contemplated what could've taken place all those years ago on the same ledge that people were leaning over in an effort to capture the beauty of the Ko'olau range on camera. I'd always been a huge history buff and state of Hawai'i offered such a rich and diverse background that it was almost impossible to restrain myself from delving into the intricacies of its past at every available opportunity.

"Not all the details, no, but I do know that this – well, the lookout to be more precise – is the site of one of the most important and bloodiest battles in Hawaiian history." Her face was turned toward the edge of the cliff as she sighed softly, turning back to me with a determined look. "Now, stop deflecting … what the hell happened last night? I told you to invite him to the movies not spend the night with him doing God knows what." Her arms flailed about her head dramatically as she spoke, tone slightly clipped and judgmental.

"What do you want me to say, Alice?" I asked with a sigh, perplexity coloring my voice. "I did what you asked, or at least I tried to and … I – it – we kissed. _I_ kissed him and really didn't want to stop there."

"So you went back to his place after two hours? That's a bit quick there cowboy, dontcha think?" I watched Alice carefully as I contemplated how best to answer her and her refusal to meet my gaze, staring past me or turning her head to the side, clenched my heart painfully. It confused me as well, though. Just last night she'd told me to go with it and be happy, and now she was waffling, uncertainty and apprehension clear in her rigid pose.

"I'm not really understanding what the big deal is here." I could hear the confusion in my voice as Alice's eyes finally snapped to mine, anger and something else that I couldn't quite place rolling off of her tiny body in stifling waves.

"You don't know what the big deal is, J? You don't understand why I'm so upset right now? _You_ made me look like a fucking fool, that's what the big deal is. When I called James, he fucking laughed at me – _laughed_ – after making some off-hand comment about me not being able to keep tabs on _my _boyfriend." Tears trailed down the sides of her face, dripping and pooling on the table top as her shoulders shook with her repressed sobs. I rose from my seat swiftly and walked around to the other side of the table, wrapping my arms around Alice tightly, and my chin resting on the top of her head. Guilt ran through me with every salt-tinged teardrop fell from her face.

"I – I'm sorry, Al. I wasn't thinking … it just – I haven't felt that way about _anyone_ in so fucking long. Fuck, I can't even explain to you how I feel or what I want but being with him just felt _right_. And I'm not trying to make excuses for what – for not considering any backlash that you'd have to deal with, I just _don't know_ what to do right now." I waited silently as Alice's tears and tremors slowed her breathing uneven and shallow while she wiped the back of her hand across her face and frowned at the black streaks that showed up.

"I don't mean to be such a bitch, Jasper. I love you, yes, but I want _you_ to be happy. I just don't want to be left behind. You're my best friend and yet, you forgot about our weekend routine." She inhaled shakily as she tilted her head up so that she could see my face, "You forgot about _me_ and that really fucking hurt."

My eyes closed momentarily as I swallowed thickly, feeling the guilt and anger toward myself for making her feel this way. Alice was my best friend – my _only_ true friend and, with the exception of Edward, the _only_ person who really _knew_ me – and I'd hurt her. It hadn't been intentional, but that hardly mattered. There wasn't anyone else in my life – family aside – that was more important to me than she was.

"I'm sorry, Al. So _fucking_ sorry," I whispered into the top of her head again, hugging her a little tighter as the words left my mouth.

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

I collapsed onto my bed the moment I walked into my room, hoping that James hadn't heard me get in completely exhausted from the lengthy discussion I'd had with Alice. Unfortunately, I wasn't that lucky and moments after I'd closed my eyes, my head buried under the pillow, I heard my door swing open, banging against the wall behind it, as James stepped into my room.

"You're paying to get that fixed, fucker," I verbalized, lifting the pillow off my head and turning toward the door. "Is there a reason that you're barging into my room without knocking?"

"There is," he intoned a slightly maniacal glint in his eyes as he sat on the top of my desk and pulled a familiar looking piece of paper from his pocket. I felt my eyes widening as I glimpsed the number scrawled on it, elegant and flawless enough to be mistaken for the handwriting of a girl, the initials "EAC" the only identifying mark.

"As we were leaving Femme Nu last night, I thought I saw your car but … I didn't see the pixie's anywhere around so I figured I was mistaken. Apparently, though –" I swallowed thickly as he smoothed the paper on top of my desk, leering at me like we shared some huge secret. "I wasn't mistaken. When Alice called me this morning, I'll admit, I was intrigued since she's always been such a bitch to me. I never expected the reason for her call to be so scandalous."

I reached over hastily, snatching the number from beneath his fingers and stuck it back in my pocket, cursing myself for not grabbing it before I'd left earlier. Of course James would fucking go through my shit, wondering where the hell I'd been last night if it hadn't been with Alice. Scandalous indeed, if only he had any idea just how fucking 'scandalous' it was, I'd be screwed, and not in that good, life-affirming sort of way either.

"It's not like that," I finally muttered, sitting up and leaning against the wall with my legs stretched out in front of me. "Alice … she had to leave early to take care of something at home and suggested that I hang out with –" With the fucking hot tattooist that had just finished inking me and then proceeded to blow my mind, quite literally at that. "A friend of hers. The number … I got it just in case we ever decide to hang out again anytime in the future." I was careful to keep the gender of said 'friend' under wraps as I stumbled over my words, hoping that James wasn't perceptive enough to pick up on the anxiety I was feeling.

James chuckled as he stood up and walked toward the door, pausing briefly with his hand on the knob and surveying me once more. "I certainly hope that you can lie to your girlfriend better than that, I'd hate to see her completely emasculate you after finding out you fucked her friend." With that, he exited, the walls shuddering at the force he'd used to close my door.

I closed my eyes fleetingly; exhaling a deep breath before entering Edward's number into my phone and tossed the paper into the trashcan beside my bed. My brain was being assaulted by a torrent of information from my earlier discussion with Alice and this new development with James. It pained me that he thought I'd cheated on her, the last thing I'd wanted was to make her look like a doormat, but it was preferable to him knowing the truth. If I wanted this _thing_ – whatever the hell it was – to continue with Edward, I needed to figure out the rest of my life first. Was I ready to come out, ruin my career and shame my family for my own selfish reasons? _Damned if I do and damned if I fucking don't. _

With that thought, I lay back on my bed resolved to not think about any of it until I'd gotten some rest. My subconscious seemed to have other ideas, though, as I drifted off to sleep with visions of bright green eyes, copper colored hair and pale, inked flesh dancing behind my eye lids.

* * *

**A/N: **This concludes yet another installment of _Verum Quod Eventus_ and I do hope that you've all enjoyed reading it as much as I did writing it. I'd like to make note, however, that as of right now, I'm sort of winging it and _Purest of Pain_, my other multi-chap, _is_ my first priority. Please read and review, let me know your thoughts. Any links pertaining to this chapter, as well as the previous one, can be found on my profile.

**Fidelitas: **Loyalty

**Panthers: **As a tattoo motif, the panther makes a powerful statement about the person who chooses it, for it is a symbol of courage, strength and personal leadership. This is the largest and most ferocious cat of the Americas, pound for pound more fierce and dangerous than: the tiger, the lion or the leopard. The panther is at the pinnacle of the food chain in the Americas. The panther / jaguar is fiercely independent and cunning. It is the only large cat that routinely hunts in the water.

**Wings: **A representation of a Wing or Wings as a tattoo design, of course, symbolizes flight. But if we give wing to our imagination for a moment, if only as a romantic gesture, we can say that they signify the escape from the bonds of earthly existence to the limitless freedom of the spirit. Wings stand for peace, love, and the link between earth and sky -- between the human and the divine -- and as symbols of transcendence and liberation.

**A light from the shadows shall spring: **This line is taken from the poem "_All That is Gold Does Not Glitter_" by J.R.R. Tolkien for the novel _The Lord of the Rings. _The full poem reads as follows:

_All that is gold does not glitter,  
Not all those who wander are lost;  
The old that is strong does not wither,  
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.  
_

_From the ashes a fire shall be woken,  
A light from the shadows shall spring;  
Renewed shall be blade that was broken,  
The crownless again shall be king._


	3. Desiderata

**Title: **Verum Quod Eventus**  
Chapter: **03. Desiderata**  
Author: **stolenxsanity**  
Characters/Pairings: **JasperxEdward**  
Rating: **M/NC-17**  
Spoilers: **None; AH/AU

**Summary: **Jasper has a fated meeting one night that finally allows him to let go. But, will it only be temporary? Originally written for the "**Tattward and Inkella One-Shot**"** Contest**. OOC. Slash. JxE

**Disclaimer: **_Twilight _and all recognizable characters belong to SMeyer, _Verum Quod Eventus_ belongs to me.

**A/N: **First off, thank you so very fucking much to Le Beta, **RAEcouter** for reading through my ramblings, making sense of my tangents and prettying up my words. I love you something fierce, bb. To my _Unofficial Preview Crew_, **naelany** and **PolkaDotMama**, thank you for going over this and offering reassurances when I was just … unsure about it all. Special thanks to **gypsysue** and **ahizelm** for putting up with my incessant ramblings via GChat and the constant and giving me nudges and pushes and sometimes just flat out kicking me in the ass to finish this chapter. I would not have been able to get this done without all of you. And lastly, to the wonderful **AngstGoddess003** for the beautiful banner that she made for this story; I absolutely fucking adore it and you, bb!

* * *

"_To regret one's own experiences is to arrest one's own development. To deny one's own experiences is to put a lie into the lips of one's life. It is no less than a denial of the soul_." – Oscar Wilde

* * *

**[JPOV]**

I stared blankly at the red glow of numbers on my alarm clock as they cast odd shadows across my desktop. There were still fifteen minutes left before it would sound indicating that it was finally a suitable hour for me to get out of bed and go for a run. I'd already been awake for the past three hours after my harsh pants broke the still air in my room so aggressively I was jolted into consciousness. Edward in all his inked and naked glory did that, and perpetuated my alert state even now.

My entire body was covered in a fine sheen of sweat as my mind replayed every moment I'd spent in his company; every touch, every word, every searing gaze of his jade and onyx colored eyes. I was so _fucking_ hard, uncomfortably aching, and it took every ounce of resolve that I possessed not to take care of it myself. But _fuck_, I wanted him _right now_, more than I'd ever wanted anything or anyone in my entire life. The overwhelming need to rid myself of the excess energy I'd built up over the past few hours was strong, an entity of its own. Instead, I tried desperately to cease the continuous flow of thoughts about him in an attempt to ease my erection so I _could_ run.

My phone grabbed my attention as the screen lit up, signaling that it had completed charging, and I briefly considered calling Edward, giving in to my body's desire for him. Somehow, though, I managed to stop my hand from grabbing it, regardless of how much I wanted to, and I _really fucking_ wanted to. I _needed_ to get my head straight, clear it from the incessant onslaught of conflicting information, figure out what _I _really wanted out of this situation from Edward, and calling him right now wouldn't help me figure that out.

With a resigned sigh, I sat up and unplugged the charger from the wall before tucking my _Quickfire_ into the desk drawer. _Out of sight, out of mind_, I thought to myself as the temptation to call Edward dissolved minutely. There were still ten minutes until six, but I couldn't lie in bed any longer lost in memories and fantasies. Rising quickly, abundantly mindful of the noise I made with each step; I walked across the room to my dresser. I took my time getting changed into basketball shorts and a worn _Army_ t-shirt, my movements slow and lazy as I kept one eye trained on the clock, trying to let enough time lapsed to seem reasonable for me to be up and around. I slipped my shoes on hastily as the digital numbers flashed from fifty-five to fifty-six and made my way back to the desk to turn it off. With one last glance around the room, I plucked my keys off the nightstand and after a moment of consideration, grabbed my phone. _After all_, I told myself, _Alice might call_.

The early morning air was frigid, biting as it hit my bare arms, and I groaned aloud as I bustled down the stairs and across the parking lot. I paused a few feet away from my sleek, black sixty-nine Chevy Impala and considered the benefits of running here on post as opposed to heading to the park a little ways down the road. After a moment of deliberation, I decided that the park would be my best bet if I wanted to avoid interacting with any co-workers or superiors and closed the distance between myself and my car. I quickly unlocked the door and slid into the driver side seat, smiling to myself as she purred to life. I laughed silently as I caressed her steering wheel, thinking about how my baby was the only female capable of actually getting me hard before I threw the gearshift in reverse and pulled out of the stall.

Thirty minutes into my run, I started to feel that familiar burn as it flowed through my muscles, relaxing and invigorating me as my thoughts drifted to Edward again. It was unnerving how much my body yearned for him and how much of my time he occupied when it had been less than forty-eight hours since we'd parted ways. In an effort to keep my thoughts focused on anything but _him, _I pushed myself harder, faster, throwing everything I had vigorously into each of my movements. The strain of such efforts had perspiration dripping down my face and soaking through my clothes.

The attempt was futile, though, and the more I sought a reprieve from my imaginings of Edward, the more they came at me; swift, demanding and fucking relentless. I paused at the far end of the park and stood beneath the boughs of a monkeypod tree, bent over at the waist as I caught my breath, sweat rivets falling from my face onto the grass below. The persistent itch and sting across my left forearm was a tangible reminder of what I was trying to avoid, and with a deep groan, I dropped to the ground, arms crossed over my knees. This was getting ridiculous. I couldn't even workout without thinking about _him_ – about _Edward_ – and it was appallingly pathetic. I had gone years denying myself these pleasures – denying _myself_ – and after one night I was pining away like some silly little schoolgirl would over her first crush. _Pitiful,_ my mind taunted as it laughed at my quandary.

I sat and watched as the first rays of the morning sun lightened the field, inching along the verdant hills leisurely as the birds in the trees behind me sang. My options flickered through my mind non-stop, a constant reminder of what I had now and what I could have if I wanted it badly enough to walk away from this life and, quite possibly, from my own family. Disgruntled, exhausted and drenched, I stood with a sharp exhale and made my way back across the park.

Each footfall was slow and languid, as my mind vacillated between the possible scenarios at breakneck speed. There was a part of me – a small but increasingly persistent part – that didn't care about the _what if's _or the innumerable consequences that I would be faced with. This line of thought resulted from the part of me that just wanted _him_ – wanted Edward – with no doubts and no questions. The other part, the bigger and more insistent component that demanded I adhere to societal norms to protect my job and my family, couldn't grasp the idea of deviating from the path that I'd be on for years; the path that I'd chosen willingly.

_Fuck, you're getting absolutely nowhere_, I thought to myself, frustrated and seething, as I drove through town. _You keep coming back to the same conclusions, the same place that you started from; for fucks sake, get it together Whitlock!_

Since talking to myself didn't seem to be working – _fucking good for nothing internal monologue_ – I decided to call the one person that I knew I could count on. _Alice_. I pulled my phone from my pocket and dialed, praying to any God that would listen that she'd be available to meet me for breakfast. I needed someone to help me sort through this clusterfuck that was my life and there was no one in the world that I trusted more than Alice.

Her phone rang five times before it clicked over to voicemail, the prerecorded, standard greeting telling me that I had reached Alice Brandon's phone and to leave a message. With a frustrated huff, I tossed my phone into the passenger seat and continued driving; taking the less used back roads to avoid the Sunday traffic that dotted the streets. It was impossible, though, to completely wipe Edward from my thoughts and as I continued to drive, images of him flashed through my mind in a steady, ceaseless flow. With every blink, I was assaulted by fantasy after fantasy; his naked body below mine as I pound into him relentlessly, both of us covered in sweat. _God, how I wish I could be doing that right now, fucking him, owning him completely_. I groaned out loud as I pictured his mouth around my cock, the way that fucking tongue ring felt as it ran up my shaft causing my knees to buckle, giving into the delicious sensations that coursed through me. The memory alone had me hard and _fucking_ aching for him; his hands and those full, delectable lips; his _fucking_ eyes and voice and the way he had shuddered beneath me when he came in my mouth.

"_Fuck_," I muttered to myself as my hands clenched around the steering wheel, gripping so tight that my knuckles had turned white. "_This is _fucking_ insane_." I couldn't take it anymore and had to pull over until I could get my mind on something else, _anything else_. As soon as I had put the car in park and cut the engine, the message alert on my phone beeped at me - _Alice_ - and I hastily grabbed it from where it had landed to read the message, feeling a frown mar my face at her words.

_J ~ Busy today. I'll call you later. ~ A_

_How the fuck did you get here_, I mentally questioned myself as I tapped on the dashboard monotonously. _One night and you've turned into a fucking girl, Whitlock. He was just one guy and you're losing your shit over him?_ He wasn't just _one guy, _though, my less rational, more emotionally-driven side argued back vehemently. I was conflicted, completely unable to function with the throbbing in my groin and the tumultuous onslaught in my head waging a war for dominance. After a few moments, I was able to calm myself down enough to start driving again and started the car back up and pulled away from the curb, quickly glancing to make sure the road was clear. The grip I had on the steering wheel was resolute as I drove, eyes narrowed and jaw tight. Whether it was in anticipation or irritation I wasn't quite certain, but I had a decision to make, and soon. To call or not to call, I had his number and every sidelong glance at my phone tempted me; reminding me of what I'd had, what I'd done, what _he_ had done to me. _Not helping_, I reminded myself as I shifted slightly in my seat, trying to get comfortable.

As I reached the front gate at post, I plucked my wallet from my pocket and angled my body so that my erection was hidden from view as I held my ID out the window. It really was an absolute pain in the ass that we had to do this every time we drove back on post, even if the guards on duty knew who you were, but I could understand why it was a necessary, albeit annoying, practice. This time, the guard was one I recognized and I smiled in acknowledgment as she made her way to my car, eyes squinted from the sun's glare.

"You're out early today, Whitlock." She grinned at me as she made a show of surveying both my ID and my face, head tilted as if she were deep in thought, nose crinkled in disgust. "And you smell, too." I couldn't help but laugh at her observation as I gestured toward myself with my free hand.

"That's what happens when you work out, Swan," I replied with a chuckle before retrieving the card from her outstretched hand. "This body takes work, you know?" Her joyous laughter resounded in the interior of my car as she leaned forward and removed her hat, arms crossed over the edge of the door. The posture was achingly familiar and, as I glanced at her face again, I realized that her features were as well. Everything from the auburn streaks that colored her hair to the subtle slant of her eyes, the playful glint behind the brown similar to what I had seen in a pair of jade irises and the way her full lips curved into a crooked smile screamed _Edward_.

_You have officially lost it, Whitlock_.

I could see her mouth moving as she talked, but I couldn't make out the words, my brain working overtime to process the sight before me as flashes of Edward played over and over in my head, _again_. Hastily, and probably really fucking rudely, I made some excuse to get away and continued on, constantly reminding myself that I needed to follow the posted speed limit but desperate to get back to my room. Everything was beginning to remind me of Edward - even the gate guard - and I was seriously in need of a long, hot shower. _Or a nice, hard fuck_. I parked the car in my usual spot, taking note that the bike James drove was missing, and headed up to my room.

I once again contemplated calling Edward as I paced back and forth, my hands repeatedly running over my face in aggravation. What good would calling him do when all I really wanted was to lay him beneath me and fuck him senseless? I sat on my bed after a moment as a low, disgruntled groan emanated from my throat. If nothing else, I needed to talk to him and find out what exactly it was that _he_ wanted before I made any life-altering decisions. My career wasn't worth a random fuck here and there, even if he was a _fucking_ God. And, if that was all he wanted, then all my thinking and over analyzing would have been in vain. There were very few things that I could honestly say that I would put my career on the line for and a _fuck buddy_ was _not _one of them. I was soon on my feet again, my steps taking me back and forth across my room as thoughts of Edward endlessly assaulted me. Apparently, considering whether or not I should call him wasn't going to be of any help and, with a muttered _'fuck it_,' I gathered my gear and headed toward the shower hoping that it would help ease my muscles and clear my head. At the very least, though, it would get rid of the stench of sweat that covered me.

The water cascaded down my naked back as I leaned against the shower wall, fist clenched tightly beside my head and eyes clamped shut. Being in here, naked and hard, just made things worse. The images of bronze hair and deep green irises flashed in front of me, interspersed with sweaty, pale flesh. The graphic visuals of him had become unbearably painful and I could feel my hand curling and unfurling in a steady rhythm as I tried, futilely, to fight the urge, will it down and bury it away. I thought of everything I could to just forget about Edward and the effect he had on me, but it was in vain.

Without conscious thought, my free hand found its way down my torso and began stroking my erect shaft as I thought about Edward touching me. A muffled moan escaped my mouth as my hand continued to move up and down in a slow, steady motion causing beads of pearly liquid to form on the tip and my head to drop back in pleasure. All the while, visions of Edward played behind my closed lids; his mouth and the way it felt around my cock as his tongue licked up from base to tip, the cool metal of his tongue ring a stark contrast to my heated skin, circling the tip in languid, teasing strokes. I groaned out loud as I pictured him on his knees in front of me, looking up through fluttering eyelashes while licking his lips before engulfing me in his hot, wet mouth. I could almost literally feel the foreign metal ball that would be igniting the underside of my length with every hungry pump and the way his eyes glinted playfully as he moved back and forth, his hand matching the motions of his mouth.

My hand picked up speed as my vision changed to me fucking him, penetrating his tight ass with hard, deep thrusts. My breaths were ragged and shallow as his voice echoed in my head, begging me to take him harder and screaming my name. I could picture his arched back perfectly, the wings standing out against his skin as my eyes devoured the taut straining muscles across his shoulders and down to his hips. It was complete sensory overload and, with a strangled moan I came hard against the wall, my knees buckling at the force of my orgasm.

"Fuck me," I sighed out breathlessly as I tried to steady myself against the wet tile, my entire body limp from the release.

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

As I returned to my room, running the towel roughly over my head while I walked, I could hear James talking on the phone and my forehead creased in confusion. _What the fuck is he doing in my room now_? I silently pondered as I walked through the door and quirked an eyebrow at him straddling my desk chair, ear pressed to my phone.

"Is there a reason you're in my room, James?" I asked as I sat on my bed looking at him. "Furthermore, is there a reason why you're on _my_ phone?" I waited as he told whoever was on the line to hold on and turned to me with that slight condescending smile he was known for.

"It was ringing and you were otherwise occupied," he paused a moment to let me absorb that information. Though I knew what he meant, my irritation with him outweighed any embarrassment and I gestured for him to continue. At least I knew that I hadn't uttered Edward's name out loud so anything he _had_ heard was not unlike the things I'd been forced to endure in the past. Clearly annoyed with my response, or lack thereof, as it were, he huffed and placed the phone face down on my desk before returning his attention to me, fingers tented beneath his chin. "Like I said, it was ringing and you were busy so I came in here to see who was calling, wondering if maybe it was the _friend_ you were out with Friday night. Unfortunately, though, I was flat out of luck as the name flashing on the screen began with an _R_ and not an _E. _Still, though, I answered and I'm happy to report that your sister sounds like a sex line operator."

At the mention of Rose, I kicked James out and grabbed my phone off the desk. "Rosie?" I knew that my tone was curt and annoyed, but it couldn't be helped. James was a fucking class-A bastard and he was lucky that I didn't just kick his ass for that fucking comment he had made. Soon enough though, my anger gave way to worry as I realized that Rose wasn't the type to initiate contact unless there was a problem of some sort and I collapsed onto my bed, eyes closed, as I tried to ready myself for any possible bad news that she would have. If it was something serious, I would have to put in for emergency leave, though it couldn't have been a life or death situation since my command would have already been alerted. With these thoughts running through my mind, I'd almost forgotten that my sister was on the phone and was startled from my end-of-world contemplations by her annoyed huff.

"_Jasper Hale Whitlock, are you even paying attention to me?_" Her voice was filled with exasperation and contempt as she spoke, clearly displeased with the conversation between her and James.

"Sorry, I'm listening now. Is everything okay? Are you okay? What about dad and mom?" As each question left my mouth a new one abruptly popped into my head just as quickly.

"_Jesus _fucking _Christ, Jazz. If you would just shut up for a moment I'd be able to answer you,_" Rose stated after I'd finally stopped rambling. "_Everyone is fine, I swear. I just called because I've got some vacation days coming up and I was thinking about coming out to visit you._"

"Oh." _There you go, Whitlock, always so fucking eloquent. _

"_Oh? That's all you have to say, Jazz? No, 'Oh hey, that sounds great. Of course you can visit,' or 'Sure, anytime you want. You know I'm always happy to see you, Rosie.'" _That was the Rosalie Lillian Whitlock that I knew; the devil herself, probably already decked out in these seasons hottest Prada swimsuits. Without giving me a chance to respond, she launched into her plans and I chuckled softly at my thoughts as I rolled to my side so I could get comfortable.

"_Here's the thing, J. I need a vacation and Tanya – you remember Tanya, right? – Well, she needs a vacation as well. And, we both decided that there is no better place to go on vacation than Hawai'i. And, of course, since_ my _baby brother_ lives _in Hawai'i that just sweetens the deal, wouldn't you agree_?"

"I suppose," I replied slowly, uncertain what exactly it was that I was agreeing to. "So, you're both coming here to visit or is that just what you're telling dad and mom?"

"_Oh, stop being such a dick, Jasper. Of course we'll be visiting you; it's just an added bonus that you happen to reside in Paradise right now_." Rose sounded so fucking proud of herself for her deductive reasoning skills that it took a whole lot of self-control for me not to burst out laughing at that moment.

"So when do you two plan on visiting and what exactly do you need me to do? You know that I haven't got any place for you to stay and it wouldn't have made a damn bit of difference to me if you called me today or from the fucking airport when you arrived."

"_Can't you get a deal at that one hotel that we stayed at the last time we all came to visit? I can't remember the name of it right now, but I know that it was somehow military affiliated._"

"Tell me, dear sister, what exactly is in it for me if I do this?" I couldn't help fucking with her. She just made it too damn easy and even though I knew that she was only bringing that harpy bitch Tanya with her to try and play matchmaker – _not likely, Sis, not _fucking_ likely _– she knew as well as I did that I'd do this for her.

"_What the hell do you mean 'What's in it for you'_," she retaliated swiftly, her voice nothing more than a high-pitched, fury-filled squeak. "_Did you miss the part where I said that _I _would be visiting you?_"

I snorted out loud as she continued to blather on about herself. Rose's anger, though legendary throughout our little hometown, was nothing more than insanely humorous to me. I'd grown up with her so I'd somehow become immune to it over the years, much to her displeasure, and quickly composed myself so that I'd be able to respond. "Aren't you just the humble one today?" I asked, switching my phone to speaker so that I could put it down and continue talking. "Seriously, though, what am I getting out of this, Rosie?"

I heard the rush of breath from her end as she huffed out in aggravation. "_Jazz, just get me a hotel room and shut the fuck up._" I couldn't help the laughter that escaped me at her exasperated tone; having her visit would be, at the very least, amusing. Our conversation continued on like that for another ten minutes, her arguing that just seeing her should be enough of an incentive while I demanded more. It wasn't that I didn't love my sister - despite the fact that she could be a bitch at times - this was just how we were with one another and I hadn't realized just how much I'd missed our bantering until she'd called.

"Fine, Rosie, I'll do it and email you the details. When are y'all planning on coming out?" I cringed at my word choice, realizing that, at some point during our conversation I'd gotten out of bed and was searching for my car keys again. I could hear the slight rustle of papers and the telltale sounds of Rose's nails tapping against her keyboard as I pulled my shoes back on and grabbed a shirt from the closet. I was hungry and, seeing as how there'd be no food to find around here, was going to run out and get something to eat.

"_How do you feel about two weeks from now? We'll both be on vacation by then._" I hummed in acknowledgment as I walked through the parking lot, deciding at the last minute to walk to the commissary instead of drive. "_I'll book the flights now and email you the itinerary, okay?_"

"That sounds good; I'll keep an eye out for it and set everything up as soon as I get it." We ended the call a few moments later and I made quick work of ordering a sub sandwich and a coke before heading back to my barracks room. James' bike was missing from the parking area once again, and I let out a relieved sigh while I ran up the stairs slightly invigorated. Dropping my rations atop my bed, I realized that since Rose had called, I hadn't thought about Edward once. Of course, that realization had my thoughts rushing back to him, but it was good to know that he didn't monopolize all of my time. _I can definitely work with that_, I thought to myself before settling in at my desk to eat.

I could feel my phone burning a hole in my pocket, though; its mounting presence a tangible weight on me as I shifted in my seat, trying to block out the heady desperation that I felt. It was useless, an act of futility. Exhaling sharply, I plucked the tiny, unassuming object out and placed it on the desk before me. It wouldn't take much; a few clicks were the only thing, besides my binding sense of duty, that stood in the way. _That and about twenty-five miles_, I thought dejectedly as the pad of my thumb brushed lazily over the keys, tracing the edges of each numbered button. I could feel my heart thudding, pulsating erratically in my chest at just the thought of hearing his voice, the crushed velvet intonation grinding my already frayed nerves. _Was I ready for that or would the sound of his sweet dulcet tones threaten my resolve to take the time to think this through properly? _

My fingers continued their journey over the face of the phone as my mind ran in circles, constantly vacillating between whether or not I should just fucking do it – bite the proverbial bullet and dial his damn number. Of course, I could just take the easy way out and send a text message, but then I'd be left with the issue of trying to figure out what to say. '_Hey Edward, Wanna fuck?_' I snorted out loud at that thought as my movements stilled and I actually contemplated the idea before tossing it aside. _Honesty wasn't _always_ the best policy._

Slightly annoyed with myself, I stood and gathered the trash from lunch, planning on disposing of it. In the process of moving, though, I knocked my phone from the desktop and without thinking, dropped everything in my hand to catch it before it hit the floor. I didn't exactly want to have to go through the process of getting it replaced yet again since it was no longer insured.

I placed the phone back in its spot and continued my task, heading out to the kitchen to dump everything and grab something to drink. Making my way back to my room, I picked the cell up again for what seemed like the millionth time and was shocked to hear a soft, albeit slightly confused, voice coming through the speaker.

"_Holy fuck_," I muttered lowly, palms suddenly sweating as I stared disbelievingly at Edwards name clearly displayed on the screen.

* * *

**A/N: **Alright, it's done and posted and you've read it and … I left y'all hanging. However, could you please refrain from the throwing of rotten fruit and any other inanimate objects, por favor? Gracias! Pero, your thoughts would be wonderful so if you would be so kind as to click that little 'review' button down there, I'll love you forever! Any pertinent links to this chapter will be up on the profile.

**Desiderata**: "Desired Things" or "To Desire"

**Lastly**: I vacillated between whether or not I should do this and decided that maybe it was necessary. To anyone who PM'ed me questioning my knowledge on all things military, please rest assured that I _do _know what I'm talking about. I am an Army brat – quite literally born into it – and former Air Force myself. The military was the biggest part of my life for twenty-seven years; I'm _only_ twenty-nine. I have no problem answering your questions but I would appreciate it if you would refrain from insulting my intelligence. Thank you.


	4. Aperio

**Title: **Verum Quod Eventus**  
Chapter: **04. Aperio**  
Author: **stolenxsanity**  
Characters/Pairings: **JasperxEdward**  
Rating: **M/NC-17**  
Spoilers: **None; AH/AU

**Summary: **Jasper has a fated meeting one night that finally allows him to let go. But, will it only be temporary? Originally written for the "**Tattward and Inkella One-Shot**"** Contest**. OOC. Slash. JxE

**Disclaimer: **_Twilight _and all recognizable characters belong to SMeyer, _Verum Quod Eventus_ belongs to me.

**IMPORTANT NOTE FOLLOWING THE A/N AT THE BOTTOM; PLEASE READ!**

* * *

"_Risk! Risk anything! Care no more for the opinions of others, for those voices. Do the hardest thing on earth for you. Act for yourself. Face the truth__."_ – Katherine Mansfield

* * *

**[JPOV]**

Remembering what had taken place in here just two nights prior, I tilted my head to the side and stared at my distorted, tousled reflection in the elevator doors before me. The images assaulted my memory one after another and I leaned into the polished metal wall as my knees buckled under the invasion. My mind careened toward the actions I had taken; grabbing hold of Edward's wrist in my calloused hand as he had fleetingly brushed his along the bulge in my pants, pulling it higher, and holding it in place. The words that I'd whispered, which had suffused the charged air between us, spun through my head and were closely followed by his answering retorts. The delicious smirk his lips had pulled into after that became so firmly ingrained inside me I was sure it had been a part of my last twenty-five years just as it would remain unforgettable for the next quarter century.

The toll of the elevator, signaling my arrival on Edward's floor, pulled me from my thoughts. I shook my head lightly as I regarded the door across the hall. Inhaling deeply – a vain attempt at steeling myself for what I knew was to come – I took those few steps; my hands coming to rest palm down on either side of the frame as my forehead pressed against the only thing that separated Edward from me.

I could already feel his presence surrounding me, as if he already stood before me. My breaths fell in harsh pants from slightly parted lips and reverberated loudly throughout my head; my pulse thudded erratically as all blood flow was redirected south. _Fuck_, I cursed internally as I dropped one hand from its perch to adjust myself and my eyes darted from one end of the hallway to the other and back. _Get yourself together, Whitlock_.

Edward's intonation – the husky tenor, seemingly laced every other word with innuendo – was still fresh on my mind. Pure sex had dripped unintentionally from his words, but instead of dwelling on that, my thoughts were attempting to set the effect he had over me aside and actually remember the _conversation_. Parts of that unintentional telephone call were gone permanently, though, seemingly blocked by the panic of hearing his voice. Nevertheless, somehow plans were made – this very meeting had been arranged – and now I was acting on autopilot.

With a breathy exhale, I lifted my head and eyed the door as I raised my hand tentatively to knock; my mind clouded with the realization of how close we'd soon be. The sound of my fist against wood seemed exceptionally loud in the otherwise quiet building and I cringed, dropping my hands to my sides and shoving them into the pockets of my jeans as I rocked back on the balls of my feet. Though I wanted to be here - wanted to see him, touch him, _fucking_ kiss him - the desire to leave before I made an absolute fool of myself was growing stronger. I snorted quietly to myself as I considered the fact that I had already come across like an idiot by calling him accidentally and proceeding to stutter like a complete tool through our half an hour exchange.

Minutes passed, feeling like hours, before Edward answered the door. Smiling crookedly, his gaze scrutinized me from heel to head before moving to the side and ushering me in. A warm hand brushed against my ass as I crossed his threshold and I felt joy tugging at the corners of my mouth. My mind, which had been running a mile a minute until I finally stepped foot into the foyer of his apartment, came to a screeching halt as I stopped to process that little bit of information. _Maybe_ I wasn't the only one being tortured with a constant stream of images and fantasies; _maybe_ Edward had been in the same state as I had since we'd parted ways Saturday morning. My smile grew at that thought and my body relaxed automatically.

I felt Edward's body heat before he engulfed me, arms wrapping around my waist and warm breath ghosting over my ear and neck as he whispered; "Hello Jasper, what took you so long to call?"

A slight shudder passed through my body as his scent and warmth surrounded me, fingertips firm against my abdomen and forearms secure on each side, holding my back flush against his chest. His tongue traced languidly along my ear, licking down to the thudding pulse point and sucking gently to the top edge of my shirt. My groan escaped into the charged air from the sensations that coursed through my body and I clutched at the denim that encased my thighs as my head fell to the side.

"We need to – _fuck_ – talk," I ground out as Edward sinfully nipped along my collarbone, causing my breaths to be released in harsh, heavy pants.

"Mhmm," Edward murmured as he continued trailing light, feathery kisses along my heated flesh, his hands snaking their way underneath the fabric that clung to me. The feeling of him – his lips trailing across my upper back, from shoulder to shoulder, his fingertips gently running through the spattering of hair that led beneath the jeans I wore – sent my mind into overdrive. I knew that if he continued much longer, I would lose any and all ability to make him stop.

"Edward, please – _ung – _we really need to – _oh__ fuck me that feels so good_ – talk." Tremors coursed through me as Edward continued his ministrations with little acknowledgment to the fact that I'd spoken.

"Please, Edward?" I wasn't sure what I was asking for by this point as I repeated the words that I had used earlier, imploring him to concede. Sighing, he broke the contact between both our bodies. The erratic thudding that had been present in my chest stilled at the movement and I hastily turned to face him, eyes flickering back and forth between his to gauge the reaction he'd had to what I'd said.

"Okay Jasper, let's talk," Edward responded, smiling as his hand grasped mine and led me to the couch. "But, when we finish talking, I plan on continuing right where we left off." His words were a mere whisper and I closed my eyes momentarily in an effort to get myself under control before returning my attention to him.

"I wouldn't have it any other way darlin'," I retorted with much more confidence than I felt. Clearing my throat, I ran through various ways to word the things that needed to be discussed in an effort to convey the thoughts that plagued me relentlessly. _Man the fuck up, Whitlock_, I mentally chastised myself as Edward's eyes prompted me to continue.

"Edward," I paused briefly, running a hand over my face roughly before continuing. "How do you see us? What I mean is," swallowing thickly; sweaty palms resting against the arm of the couch as I avoided looking directly at Edward. "Is this - what is - _fuck_," I murmured lowly as I fidgeted nervously with the soft upholstery. "What do you want from me?" I finally managed to sputter out, face flaming with embarrassment. "Is this - are we just _messing around_?" Edward's eyebrows furrowed in what looked like confusion mixed with relief before clearing into one of understanding.

"Jasper," he murmured as he leaned back against the cushion and turned his entire body so that he faced me. "I want whatever it is that you're willing to give me, which I know won't be much." I watched as his eyes traced the thin ball chain that hung from my neck with his gaze momentarily. "But I would prefer if this," He waved his hand between the two of us a bit frantically, "could be building toward something. I like you, Jasper, a lot more than I should after one night together. Truthfully," he rolled his eyes and looked down. "I'm not sure how much of an "us" is even possible for you, right now." I let out a breath that I hadn't realized I'd been holding, the relief I felt palpable as I settled into the couch. _He wanted more_.

"I'm not sure either, Edward," I replied as I looked up at him. "What I do know, however, is that I haven't been able to stop thinking about you," Looking away, I added dejectedly, "I have my career to think about too. It's all so complicated." I knew from the way his eyes had lingered before on the chain that held my dog tags that he too had considered that aspect and it obviously hadn't changed his mind about wanting to continue down this path, wherever it led us. "I'm not ready to come out yet," I murmured as I looked down at my lap, fingers twitching with the anxiety that had built up in the air around us.

"I understand, Jasper," Edward responded as he slid along the couch, "and we can go at your pace but, please, just be honest with me, let me know what's going on. I think we're beginning something wonderful." With a smile, I leaned in to kiss him, capturing his soft, full lips with mine. It was meant to be a chaste kiss but I hadn't counted on Edward's response. I shouldn't have been surprised that he pulled me closer to deepen the kiss, fisting the gray cotton shirt that I wore. I knew that there was more we needed to talk about and figure out but all logic left me as Edward lay back on the couch, drawing me down with him while our tongues danced together. His hips shifted upwards to meet mine, grinding our jean clad cocks together and creating a glorious friction as he moved his lips to the dip at the base of my throat, nipping at the flesh while the pace of our thrusts picked up. I didn't know how long I could last as I felt his hands slide beneath my waistband and curl around my ass, driving me harder into his pelvis before sliding back up and pulling the crumpled shirt off of me. Sitting up swiftly, I removed his shirt as well, scratching his chest lightly as I began kissing him again. Our pants and moans echoed throughout the room as our movements became frenzied and I could feel the coil in my stomach tightening, signaling the impending release, when the sounds of a phone ringing startled me.

"_Fuck,_" I groaned out as Edward's movements beneath me slowed, a disgruntled sigh escaping his slightly parted lips.

"Damn it," Edward muttered as he looked up at me, eyes pleading for understanding. "I have to get that babe, but _please_ hold that thought," he smirked as he untangled our limbs, standing to make his way to the phone across the room. Nodding at his back, I readjusted the position I was in – _as well as_ _my still straining cock_ – so that I was seated more comfortably. I could feel a slight smile tugging at the corners of my mouth as I replayed how the last hour of my life had gone. I was still stunned that Edward wanted _me_; that he had wanted me to call, to come here, to be with me just as much as I wanted to be with him. As out of character as this entire situation was for me – rigid, strict control had ruled my life for so many years – it also felt fucking right. Sighing happily, I looked over at Edward while he stood by the window, a beatific smile lighting up his face as he talked to whoever was on the other end of the line. I momentarily pondered if that was how he had looked while he'd been on the phone with me just a few short hours ago. So caught up was I in the thoughts that ran rampant through my mind that I hadn't heard him walk back toward the couch until he stood only a few inches away.

With a roll of his eyes, Edward cupped the mouthpiece, moving it away from his lips and turned his attention to me. "I'll just be another second," he murmured softly, "it's my cousin." He gestured toward the phone with a nonchalant shrug before dropping his hand from the phone.

"Isabella Marie Swan, will you calm the fuck down, woman. I'm right fucking here, no need to go and get your panties all in a twist." It took a moment for me to catch up with Edward's words, but once I had, I sat up straight, body rigid and eyes darting between Edward's face and the phone in his hand. _Isabella Marie Swan. _It was as if my brain was working in overtime as it tried to process those words, _that_ name, and before I'd made a conscious decision to do so, I was standing across the room, gripping the door knob with a shaking limb.

"_Fuck_," I cursed silently as my eyes slid closed again, this time in fear instead of rapture. I could feel my heart thudding erratically in my chest, threatening to escape its confines as I fought to keep my breathing steady. It hadn't even been twenty-four hours and I was ready to walk out the door, unable to deal with the possibility that Edward could possibly know - _and _be related to - someone that I worked with and had to see every single day.

"Jasper," Edward's voice met my ears, confusion and worry seeping through his tone, as he came to stand beside me, his arms braced against the door. "Is everything okay?" He asked, his voice a mere whisper as warm breath flowed over my sweat-slicked skin, causing me to shudder.

"I have to leave," I managed to stutter out as everything so intrinsically _Edward_ encompassed me - his scent, his warmth, the way his lips moved against the side of my temple as he spoke softly, the sparks that set my body aflame as he lightly brushed the pads of his fingers along my arm. "There's - I - _fuck_," I muttered as his fingers continued their movements along my biceps, dipping under the loose material of the shirt that I had hastily replaced.

"What's wrong?" Edward continued as if I hadn't said a word and seemingly oblivious to my current state of utter turmoil. "_Complete_ honesty, remember?" I swallowed thickly at his reminder and my shoulders hunched in defeat.

"I can't," I replied, unconvincingly, as my traitorous body automatically leaned into his, desperate for the contact.

"You can't what?" Edward responded swiftly as he ran the top of his tongue along my neck before sucking the skin into his mouth and nibbling softly.

"I can't - _God_, Edward, I can't think when you're doing that." My hands were clenched, curling and unfurling sporadically as he breathed in deeply at the nape of my neck. Placing a hot, wet, open-mouthed kiss there, he held onto me – fingers curved tightly around mine – and led us back to the couch.

"What's wrong?" He asked again as we sat down, our bodies turned toward each other and our knees brushing slightly with each tiny movement. Edward's eyes implored me, the deep green showing nothing but the desire to know and understand what had happened to elicit such a reaction from me. I watched as he ran his hands absentmindedly through his hair, the faint rays of sun that shone through the glass pane across the room shadowing his profile as he turned away. "I can't help you with whatever is wrong if you won't talk to me." His tone was one of utter confusion as he returned his gaze to me before picking his discarded shirt up from its spot on the coffee table and sliding it over his head. I silently mourned the loss of the unimpeded view I'd had of his stunning musculature covered in the vibrant colors that painted his flesh.

I hung my head in shame as I watched his expression shift; the contrast between the look on his face now and the one he had immediately after we'd talked was striking and tangible. "Edward, I just," my words faltered as I swallowed thickly against the lump that had lodged itself in my throat. "Your cousin is - she - I work with her." I gestured at the air around us, indicating the time that had long since passed as understanding dawned across Edward's features.

"Bella?" He questioned as he tilted his head to the side and lifted my chin tentatively so he could see my face. "You're worried that she might say something to the people you both work with?" He asked quietly. Nodding, I grasped his hand in mine and moved it between us to rest against the suede cushion.

"She knows me," I murmured in response, eyes drifting around the room distractedly. "What if she found out and she - I can't, Edward. I'm not ready for that yet and I know it sounds really fucking selfish but I'm just ... not. I've worked too hard and too long to get here and there's nothing for me beyond that. I haven't made any other plans beyond the military so I don't know what I would do if I lost that."

"Jasper," Edward's voice was soft and reassuring as he laced our fingers together. "Bella would _never_ say anything about who you are or your sexual preferences and private lifestyle choices but, if you're that worried about it, I can make sure that she's never around when you are." His smile spoke volumes and, even though I'm sure we both knew that I was being a little irrational, he had still put my needs above his own to try and make me feel secure.

"How the hell did I get so damn lucky?" I mumbled softly at his words before meeting Edward's gaze.

"I should be asking the same question," he responded with a chuckle as he raised our entwined hands to his mouth and kissed the back of my hand softly. "I promise that no one will find out until you're ready and, whenever you're ready to meet my cousin as someone other than," he paused then, eyebrows furrowed in thought before breaking into laughter. "Do you realize that I don't even know your last name or, really, anything about you aside from how you look naked and what you taste like?" His last comment was followed by a wicked smirk as his gaze dropped to my crotch and his tongue slid out between his lips, slowly sliding back and forth.

Edward's laughter easily broke the tension that had ensconced the room since my freak-out and I joined in after a moment, shaking my head at the absurdity of it all. "Jasper Whitlock," I responded with a lazy grin. "Staff Sergeant Jasper Hale Whitlock, to be precise."

"Well, it's nice to meet you _Staff Sergeant Jasper Hale Whitlock_; Edward Anthony Cullen at your service." Edward replied as he licked his lips again, eyes darkening slightly as he looked me up and down. His tone had dropped several octaves as he'd spoken and I couldn't suppress the small moan that escaped my lips as a wave of lust shot through me.

"Oh no, I know _that_ look, but before we start down that road tell me this: When's your birthday?" I ventured, waggling my eyebrows playfully.

Edward and I spent the next few hours talking, discussing our lives and getting to know one another; everything from pet peeves to favorite colors to tastes in music, movies and everything in between. It surprised me to learn that - with the exception of Edward's love for classical music - we had very similar tastes in that particular area and I soon learned that our similarities were as vast as our differences. He explained how he had initially wanted to go into medicine, follow in his father's footsteps, but had ended up veering far off that path when he became enamored with the art of tattooing and eventually, our conversation turned to our families. I learned that we both had one sibling each but that Bella - who was Edward's maternal cousin - had basically been adopted by the Cullen family after her parents had passed away when she was a teenager.

"She was actually the first person I came out to," Edward said as he spoke of her, a wistful smile gracing his face. "Though she claims that she already suspected I was gay; she helped convince me to come out to my family." His face turned serious after a moment of quiet and he looked away briefly before turning his attention back to me. "I know that you're not ready to come out - _yet_ - and I more than respect your decision but trust me when I say that she would be far from judgmental."

Clearing my throat, I nodded at his words as I considered my response while studying the wood grain off the floor beneath my feet. "I just need time," I finally murmured, my fingers automatically reaching for the dog tags that lay beneath the thin cotton material covering my chest. "I need to figure things out for myself before I can tell anyone besides Alice. She's been the one constant in my life, the only person - until you - who was aware of that side of me, that I didn't have to hide from, and I think that I need to fix things with her before I can even consider telling anyone else."

"I already said that we can go at your pace," Edward interjected as my voice fell silent. "But whatever you decide, I'll support you and, I know that when the time comes, so will Bella." Hesitating briefly, Edward caught my chin and tilted my head up toward his face. "Speaking of family," he started, a crease marring his marble smooth forehead, "my brother will be visiting in a few weeks. That's actually why Bella had called earlier. We do this every year, the three of us; get together when there aren't any looming family holidays that we need to be present at, away from our parents and just ... catch up. Usually, Bella and I fly home to Chicago but she wasn't able to get leave this year so Emmett will be coming here instead." I could tell that something about this news made him anxious and without thinking, I reached up to smooth the line between his eyes, my own imploring him to continue as he rubbed the back of his neck nervously.

"What's wrong?" I asked, repeating his words from a few short hours ago when he didn't immediately continue.

"Emmett can be, well, Emmett," he responded, voice soft and unsure. "He's very - I guess you could call him exuberant?" Edward's tone was questioning as he spoke, "he has a tendency to be very _loud_ and it can be annoying at times but, despite that and his rather large appearance, he's really just an overgrown teddy bear and probably one of the most accepting guys I know when it comes to this." His free hand gripped my knee before dropping to his lap. "I guess I'm telling you this because I'd really like for you to meet him. It doesn't have to be under an official capacity if you aren't ready for that when he gets here but he's one of the most important people in my life."

Unsure how to respond, but wanting to do something for him - anything to repay him for how understanding and wonderful he was being - I swallowed back my fears and nodded shortly. "Sure, I mean, if it's important to you I would be happy to meet him but ... just as friends, for now at least. Which reminds me, actually, my sister will be visiting in a few weeks too, along with her friend Tanya." I laughed a little deliriously at that, the look of confusion that passed over Edward's face only causing me to laugh harder.

"Sorry," I finally got out after the laughter had died down. "It's just that my sister is convinced that Tanya and I are _perfect_ for each other and that's the only reason she ever brings Tanya with her." Shaking my head, I chuckled softly again, looking over at Edward. "I'd like it if you would meet Rose, too," I said, my mind working to figure out the logistics of such an encounter. "I'm not sure yet how that would work but, despite the way she and I argue constantly about the most nonsensical things or the fact that she doesn't know me as well as she thinks she does, she's pretty important to me, too. In many ways, even though Alice is the only one that can truly say that she _knows_ me, she and Rose are pretty much neck and neck in regards to the most important women in my life."

"Of course, Jasper," Edward responded without hesitation. "If it's important to you then we'll figure something out. We've still got time to think about how all these meetings will go." I murmured in agreement as I thought back over the past few hours and how far I had come since waking up this morning. Stifling a yawn, I stretched my arms above my head as I rolled my neck from side to side in an effort to get the kinks out and couldn't help but smirk as I watched Edward's eyes drop to the sliver of stomach that had been revealed between the hem of my shirt and the waist of my jeans.

Feeling exponentially more confident with where he and I stood, I snickered softly, gaining Edward's attention. "See something you like?" I asked with one eyebrow raised.

"As a matter of fact, I do," Edward countered with a wicked grin and an eyebrow raise of his own. I watched as his tongue peeked out from between his parted lips, mesmerized by the metal ball that sat atop it and the muted sound of it hitting the ring that pierced the flesh at the corner of his mouth. His hand slid around the back of my neck, rubbing slightly as he moved closer to capture my mouth with his. A deep groan erupted from my chest as he nipped softly at my bottom lip before tilting his head to deepen the kiss. The front of my shirt was clenched tightly in his fist as he leaned me backwards, hovering over me with his knees on either side of my legs. I knew that it was getting late and that I needed to leave soon but the thought of tearing myself away from Edward now made my heart clench painfully in my chest and instead, I wrapped my arms around Edward's back, pulling him against my reclined form.

"_Fuck_, Edward," I moaned out as his lips left mine and attacked the side of my neck with fervor, nipping and sucking at my erratically thudding pulse point. Somewhat clumsily, Edward managed to relieve me of my shirt as his mouth left a fiery trail of open-mouthed kisses across my collarbone and down my chest as his hands ran up and down my sides rhythmically, blunt nails digging into the flesh at random intervals. I slid my hands down his still covered back and hastily pulled his shirt off, tossing it to the floor as he moved upwards, his mouth attaching itself to the hollow of my throat. A string of curses escaped me that I was barely cognizant of, as I clutched his head closer, unwilling to let go as I wound the strands of silky-soft hair around my fingers.

"Can you stay?" Edward asked as he nipped along the column of my neck and to my jaw.

"I have to - _fuck_ - be at work by six," I responded breathlessly as I thrust my hips into his, feeling his rock hard erection against mine through the layers of cotton and denim that separated us.

"Alarm?" He questioned with a groan as he shifted against me; his legs tightening their grip around mine and his eyes silently pleading for me to say yes.

After a moment's hesitation spent weighing the pros and cons of staying versus going back to post while Edward continued grinding his jean clad cock against mine - making it damn near impossible for me to think straight - I pulled him in for a searing kiss, my tongue slipping into his mouth without pretense and tangling there before I broke away. My breaths were heavy and harsh as I nuzzled my head into his bare shoulder, breathing in his scent with every inhale, as I struggled to regain my composure.

"Why don't we take this to the bedroom, then?"

* * *

**A/N: **So, I fail at life and apologize profusely for taking so long to post this chapter. I've been sick and on my death bed (sort of) for a few weeks and now I'll be leaving the country (sort of) for a funeral. Chapter five is already in the process of being written, but with all that has taken place in my real life, it may be another few weeks before I have it up. Please don't lynch me? I promise, I'm not cock blocking my boys – or you – on purpose. It was just the best stopping place that I could find.

**Aperio: **"To Reveal" or "Make Clear."

**UPDATE: **Though some of you may already be aware of this, Tania (stolenxsanity) has been in ICU for the past week and a half and had asked me a few days ago to post this chapter for her. She apologizes profusely for the wait (even though I keep telling her that her health is much more important) and she thanks you all for your patience and understanding. As her best friend and on behalf of her family, I'd like to ask you all to keep her and her family in your thoughts and prayers that she gets through this okay. If you would like more information, I have put up a blog with updates that can be found at **http://missmid0ri(dot)wordpress(dot)com**.


	5. Concupisco

**Title: **Verum Quod Eventus**  
Chapter: **05. Concupisco**  
Author: **stolenxsanity**  
Characters/Pairings: **JasperxEdward**  
Rating: **M/NC-17**  
Spoilers: **None; AH/AU

**Summary: **Jasper has a fated meeting one night that finally allows him to let go. But, will it only be temporary? Originally written for the "**Tattward and Inkella One-Shot**"** Contest**. OOC. Slash. JxE

**Disclaimer: **_Twilight _and all recognizable characters belong to SMeyer, _Verum Quod Eventus_ belongs to me.

**A/N: **I'll save the rambling stuff until the end since I'm sure you all just want to get to the story. There'll be some important stuff in the final A/N, though, so don't miss it. All my love and thanks to **subtlepen**, **naelany**, and **gypsysue** for their help getting this chapter all squared away.

Now, as you were …

* * *

"_We always long for the forbidden things, and desire what is denied us._" Francois Rabelais

* * *

**[JPOV]**

The roads were fairly empty as I drove back to post, images of the previous night and early morning reeling through my mind with every blink. I hadn't expected anything to happen when I'd gone to see Edward, convinced that he had wanted nothing more than a fuck buddy when I wanted - no, _needed_ - so much more than that. I was still shocked at just how wrong those assumptions had been and just the memory of his words, along with his actions, set my entire body aflame with desire. As one hand gripped the steering wheel tightly, knuckles white from the pressure, the other sat atop the gearshift, fingers loosely curled around the smooth surface out of habit as I tried to fight down the urges that Edward had awoken in me.

Soft music filled the open space around me in stark contrast to my tumultuous thoughts – scents, sights, sounds, feelings – flooding my mind. I hated that I had to leave, that I'd had no other choice this morning but to wake up when Edward's alarm had sounded while he stayed in that bed, his face flooded with indecipherable emotions and eyes hooded with sleep. Missing work wasn't an option, though, and even if I could call in sick, I'd still need to make the drive back to post and go to the clinic. It just didn't seem worth the hassle, or the cost of gas. At the same time, though, that fact bothered me. I _wanted_ to stay there, with Edward, enveloped in the serenity of the moment and asleep in the soft, warm confines of that space, _his_ space. Blinking rapidly, I focused on the road in front of me, the light traffic that surrounded me, the lightening of the sky on the horizon as the sun peeked out over the mountains in the distance, but my mind was filled to capacity with thoughts of Edward and the time that we had shared.

_Our kisses had turned heated, frenzied, as we tried to lead each other to the bedroom, tables and various inanimate objects making our escape louder than was necessary as we both silently refused to slow down or break apart. As my back once again made contact with the wall, Edward's body crashed into mine, his eyes ablaze with need as he attacked my neck with his lips, teeth and tongue. His hands ran a constant circuit from my chest to my abdomen, fingers lightly tracing the waist band of my jeans, before sliding back up. With what I'd come to recognize as his signature - _instant erection causing - _smirk, Edward slowly backed away, leaning into the wall opposite me and brushing those long, dexterous fingers through the tousled strands atop his head. My gaze was locked on those digits as they disappeared in his hair and I swallowed thickly, wanting to feel them on me. Edward's eyes were bright, glinting in the harsh glow of the apartment's unnatural lighting as his tongue peeked out between his kiss-swollen lips, teasing me as every single one of my nerve endings buzzed for his touch. My eyes searched his, flickering back and forth, as my tongue mirrored the movements of his between my own lips, aching for his taste before I pushed myself forward, acting on instinct, spontaneity, and pushing aside my rigid life of structure. My hands immediately went to his hair, tugging at the strands there, replacing his, as my mouth attached itself to the soft, pliable flesh of his neck. The skin there tasted of fresh sweat, and I groaned out loud, hot breath meeting the dampness that I'd created and causing Edward to tremble slightly against me, his own moans vibrating from deep in his chest and into the room._

_"Jesus, Jasper," Edward moaned, clutching at my shoulders and pulling me against him, our bodies aligned perfectly against each other. Blunt nails dug into my back, stroking and scratching as Edward turned his head to the left, his gaze meeting the inside of my forearm, the new colors etched into my skin striking and vibrant. I shuddered as I felt his tongue sweep over the design, tracing the lines with the metal that pierced his tongue. I whimpered – _fucking whimpered – _at the sensations that act caused and grasped his hair tightly in my hands. Turning his head toward mine, I captured Edward's mouth in a searing kiss and nipped at his lower lip before tugging sharply on the ring that passed through it. A low growl emanated from Edward's mouth before he had me turned around and pinned, his knee between my thighs. My head collided with the unforgiving wall at my back, the dull thud reverberating around the room._

I was brought out of my memories by the sound of a horn blaring, alerting me of the changing light and the fact that the hand I'd previously held the gearshift with was now in my lap, pressing against my, once again hard, cock. Shaking my head of the thoughts, I released the brake pedal and eased back into traffic, my hand immediately moving to grip the gearshift once more - a habit that was hard to break even though I was driving an automatic - and tightening with the physical exertion I needed to stay in the present. It wouldn't do me any fucking good to get into an accident while trying to get back to post, to work. With a quick glance at my watch, I breathed out a sigh of relief at the knowledge that I had timed everything correctly and would arrive back at the barracks with enough time to shower before heading to work, hopefully without running into anyone.

Arriving at Schoffield barely twenty minutes later, I pulled my wallet from my pocket and flipped it open to my ID card so that the guard on duty could check it as I nervously tapped the steering column, my eyes averted, while I waited for him to let me through. Illogical as it may have been, I couldn't help but think that he would _know_ where I'd just come from, who I'd been with and what I'd done. By the time I'd parked my car and shuffled into my room, _still_ painfully hard, my entire body felt like a live wire as the nervous energy coursed through me.

With about a half an hour left until I was due at PT, I grabbed a towel and jumped into the shower, steadying myself with the curtain rod above me. As the warm water washed over me, I picked up the shampoo, pouring a liberal amount in my hand before washing my hair. My mind spiraled back to the way Edward's hands had felt mere hours ago as he did the same thing. Groaning, my eyes clamped shut in an effort to block the persistent images that taunted me. Leaning against the tiled wall, I silently reminded myself that I needed to be at work and I didn't have time to think about Edward, the way he touched me or the way his bare body felt against mine. Apparently, my brain - _or dick_ - didn't receive that particular memo, though, and the fan-_fucking_-tastic night played through my mind like a movie reel as I stood beneath the spray of water, desperately trying to regain some sort of control.

_Collapsing onto the soft mattress of Edward's bed, I pulled him down with me, our lips instantly melding together as he straddled my hips, his forearms resting on the bed beside me. His hips shifted and rolled above me, creating some much needed friction between our bodies and heightened by the feel of the rough denim between us. Edward moved down my body, fingers fluttering over bare flesh as he reached between us to unbutton my jeans. My hips bucked eagerly into his hand. I moaned at the mere thought of skin on skin and my own hands clenched into tight fists at my side, battling the urge to plunge my fingers into his hair. Looking down at Edward, another groan escaped my open mouth at the sight of his half-naked body hovering over my own and the way his jade eyes, darkened with lust and desire, bore into mine._

_"Breathe, Jasper." Edward spoke, his gaze never leaving mine as his mouth curved up on one side into a smirk that made me want to push him over and onto his back, reversing our current positions. I felt his tongue tracing concentric designs across my abs, every muscle in my body strained and rigid as the wet warmth moved lower. Edward worked to remove my jeans, sliding the stiff denim down my legs and causing my cock to spring fre__e. Lowering his face, I felt, more than saw, him gently kissing the tip before encasing it in the heavenly heat of his mouth. A broken whimper escaped from deep within my chest as the compulsion to grasp onto Edward's silky locks won out, fingers gripping tightly as I tugged at them._

Ice cold drops rained down on my back, shocking me out of my memories and back into the present. With fumbling hands, I managed to twist the knobs along the wall and shut the water off, muttered expletives falling from my lips. Somehow, despite the jolt to my system, the nearly constant erection I'd had since meeting Edward hadn't abated but with little time before I had to be a work, there wasn't much I could do about that. Just thinking about spending more time with him was enough to make my dick twitch. I wrapped a towel around my waist after drying my hair and body and made my way back to my room to get dressed. As I retrieved a pair of boxers and my ACU's from the closet, my mind wandered once again to the previous night.

_The feel of Edwards silky lips_ _moving down as he captured one of my balls in his mouth, his tongue rolling it around gently before he sucked on it, caused me to moan loudly. His hands ran down my hips and grasped onto my thighs as he tilted my body upward, before moving his hands to my ass and spreading my cheeks. I felt his tongue swipe across my entrance several times, and then he penetrated me, causing my hips to buck as he fucked me with his tongue. My pants and moans filled the room as I rocked into him, totally lost in everything this man did to me._

_The cotton sheets were tangled around my hands as I clenched my fists while Edward continued. The need to touch him was overwhelming. I whined softly as his tongue left me and I felt the vibrations of his chuckle as he licked his way up my body, recapturing my cock in his mouth. Automatically, my hands flew back into his hair as I writhed beneath him, the tip of my erection hitting the back of his throat repeatedly. Pulling him up my body, I captured his pouting lips with my own before flipping us onto our sides and spinning around. Without hesitation, I wrapped my lips around Edward's straining length as he resumed his efforts._

_The sounds of panting, moaning and sucking filled the room as we climbed our way to our mutual release._

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

The rest of my work day continued in much the same manner and, by the time I'd returned to my barracks that evening, I was beyond exhausted from the mental strain it had taken to keep my body in check. As soon as I walked through the door of my room, I headed straight for my bed, collapsing face first with my face buried in the soft pillow. I wanted to call Edward, or even go and see him again, but I knew that I couldn't, that our physical interactions had to be saved for the weekends only. An annoyed grunt escaped my mouth as I rolled onto my back and stared at the ceiling, deep in thought. Before I met Edward, I'd been perfectly content with the state of my personal life and, while that was a far cry from as happy as I knew I could have been, being alone and forced to hide who I was for the sake of my job was a sacrifice that I was willing to make. In the span of two days, though, all of that had changed and I was perilously close to throwing everything I'd worked so hard for away.

"Well, well, well … look at what the cat dragged in."

Turning my head to the side, I barely managed to suppress a disgruntled sigh as I looked at James as he stood in my doorway, a smug smile on his face.

"What do you want?" I questioned, eyebrow arched and much too annoyed to be civil.

"Come on, Whitlock; is that any way to greet a friend? I didn't see you around much this weekend so I thought we could catch up." Watching as he stepped forward, I rolled my eyes and sat up, leaning against the wall with the heels of my boots resting at the edge of the bed. Even though I would have much rather kicked James out, told him to leave me the hell alone, that course of action would have only spurred him on more and I couldn't afford for him to get any more suspicious than he already was.

"Now," James continued once he'd made himself comfortable at his usual spot, reclined on the office chair. "Where _have _you been the past few days? I know that I'm hardly around on the weekend but you? You're always here, except for Saturdays when you go off and do whatever it is you do with Alice. So," James shrugged as his words trailed off, a contemplative look taking over his face. "I'm just curious. Did you finally ditch that –"

"Don't even _think_ about saying it," I stated firmly, cutting off the insult that I'd known was coming after having heard it more times than I would ever bother counting. "Every time you want to _talk_, you always resort to insulting Alice. I don't understand why you two hate each other so much when you've barely spent any time together at all." It annoyed me, the way that James spoke about and treated Alice. I may not have felt about her the way that she did about me, but I still loved her and still felt incredibly protective of her. Even though she responded toward James in much the same way, she'd at least tried to befriend him at first, only becoming snarky and condescending when all her attempts had proven futile.

Huffing slightly, undoubtedly upset at the way I'd cut him off, James crossed his arms over his chest before righting the chair, his head tilted to one side as he watched me. I couldn't help the way I fidgeted under his scrutiny, my fingers curled in toward my palm as I clenched my hand into a tight fist before releasing the hold repeatedly. James had always been perceptive to a fault and that scared me. While I did _want_ to be with Edward, in every way possible, I wanted it to be on _my _terms alone.

"That still doesn't answer my question, though. Where the hell did you disappear to yesterday and where were you when I got back Friday night?"

Even knowing what James was fishing for, I couldn't help the internal cringe and recoil. I was aware of the fact that most men discussed their sexual encounters freely, as if they were inquiring about the weather or something else as equally mundane but it wasn't as if I could tell him where I'd really been. _Oh, I went to dinner with Alice Friday night and eventually ended up falling into bed with a hot tattooist I met barely an hour later. Coincidentally, that's also why I didn't come back last night. Oh, and did I mention that this tattooist happens to be a guy, as well? You wouldn't believe the things that he can do with his tongue …_

I couldn't help but snort at the thought and I caught the look of confusion that flickered across James' face before he composed himself, eyeing me warily. "Something you want to share with the class?" Though his tone was amused, I'd known James long enough to realize that he was getting frustrated with my deflections and the lack of a real answer. Letting my head fall back, I tilted my face upward and closed my eyes before answering. "I _really_ don't want to talk about this right now, or ever for that matter because, honestly, it's none of your damn business what I did," _or who I did it with_. The words had been at the tip of my tongue but I bit them back, forcing them to remain unsaid, silent. It would only serve to add fuel to the proverbial fire and I was already fanning the flames. My eyes remained close as I listened to James mumble something under his breath before the chair squeaked and the sound of his heavy footsteps followed him out the door.

The remainder of the week went by in a similar fashion; I'd spend my days at work trying desperately not to think about Edward and completely incapable of controlling the reaction my body had to just the memory of the things that we'd done. My nights were spent trying to avoid James, even when I felt his questioning glances or blatant stares, and trying to get in touch with Alice. I still hadn't heard from her since Saturday and as each day passed, the worry that had started to fester in the pit of my stomach grew. I knew that she was upset with me for almost forgetting our usual weekend plans and I couldn't do anything but apologize, which I'd done. I was also confused, though. She'd all but pushed me toward Edward, telling me to be myself and be happy and once I did what she told me to do, she started singing a completely different tune.

By the time Friday rolled around, I was wound so damn tight and horny as all fuck that I could barely concentrate at work. The day passed in a blurry haze and, for once, I was thankful that I was stuck in an office as opposed to being in the field. My current state of mind would have made anything more than answering phones and doing paperwork nearly impossible. Edward and I had spent the entire week trading the occasional text message but had lacked any real opportunity to talk because one of us was either at work or James was around so, once my day ended and I was safely ensconced inside my car, I retrieved my phone and called him, hoping that he wasn't with a client and would be able to talk, even if only for a few minutes.

Thankfully, Edward answered on the second ring and I felt my lips curving upward at the sound of his voice against the backdrop of what sounded like a buzzing tattoo gun. "_Hey baby_," the words slid off his tongue so naturally, as if we'd been together for longer than a week that was spent, primarily, apart. I didn't even need to see him to know that he was smiling, I could hear it, _feel_ it through the phone line despite the distance that separated us physically.

"Hey," I responded my tone light and relaxed as I shifted around in my seat, getting comfortable. "I'm not interrupting anything, am I?" It was hard for me to believe that, less than a week ago, I'd been stressing over whether or not what Edward and I had shared was just a one-night stand for him and now, here I was, calling him like it was a normal, everyday occurrence.

"_Hmm, no, just cleaning the gun right now and waiting for my next client to arrive."_

Our conversation continued on for a few more, blissful minutes before a soft beep alerted me to an incoming call. Asking Edward to hold on for a minute, I brought my hand down and glanced at the screen, lit up as Alice's name flashed across the screen. Surprised, I almost dropped the phone in my haste to raise it back to my ear. The sound of Edward humming softly to himself as he waited for me to return almost made me forget that Alice was on the other line. _Almost_.

"Edward," I started, my tone betraying the nervous energy that coursed through my body. "It's Alice calling in on the other line … can I give you a call back after I talk to her?" The line had already beeped twice and I knew that I was pushing it not answering right away but I hoped that, if she got sent to voicemail before I could click over, Alice would pick up when I returned the call. Thankfully, it didn't take Edward long to respond, before he disconnected the call and I pressed the send button once more.

"Alice," her name rushed from my mouth in one, relieved breath. I'd missed her over the past week, unaccustomed to going without talking to her for so long. "I'm glad you finally called me back." Pausing briefly, I brushed my free hand over my face roughly before sighing. "I – I'm sorry, okay. It was really shitty of me to forget about something that we've been doing for so long and it wasn't intentional, I swear. I'd never hurt you like that, at least not on purpose." The words just kept flowing from my mouth in a non-stop steam of apologies that I felt I owed her. "I just – I got caught up in the moment … it's never been like that for me, like it was with Edward and, _fuck_, I didn't want it to end. That doesn't mean that I don't care about you, though, because you know I do. You're my best friend, you keep me sane and I couldn't have done this – any of this – without you." Swallowing thickly, I finally stopped speaking as I realized that I hadn't given Alice a chance to say anything and, at the quiet I was met with, I quickly checked to make sure that the call hadn't disconnected.

My eyebrows furrowed in confusion as I turned the speaker phone on so I could watch as the timer counted up, assuring me that there was still someone on the other side of the line. "Ali, sugar, are you still there?"

"_I'm here, Jazz, I was just making sure you were done rambling over there_." The laughter in Alice's voice lifted a weight off my shoulders and blew out a relieved breath at the fact that she didn't seem to be upset. That still didn't explain why she'd been avoiding my calls all week but it hardly mattered anymore. "_Anyhow, I just wanted to check in, I guess. I'm sorry I haven't been answering your calls all week but the bakery has been busy so I feel like I've been working non-stop._"

Exhaling a shaky breath, I forced a laugh as well. After spending the past five days worried that Alice was pissed at me for something that she'd instigated, encouraged even. "So, we're good?" The question may have been redundant, but I needed to ask, to know for sure that she wasn't holding the slip-up against me.

"_Of course_." Alice's retort was quick and I could practically see her rolling her eyes at me as she responded. "_Last weekend was – I don't know, I was just worried about losing you to someone else. I do want you to be happy but you're my best friend so I kind of overreacted_." I listened as Alice continued to speak, offering her own apologies for her behavior the previous Saturday when, amidst her enthusiastic reassurances, an idea came to me. Alice was one of the most important people in my life – the first person to know and accept me for who I was despite my flawed line of thinking. I wanted her to be able to accept Edward, too and to understand that regardless of what happened between him and me, she would still be my favorite girl, my only girl, though not in the sense that I knew she would have preferred.

Tuning back into the conversation, I caught the tail end of what Alice was saying and my eyes widened almost comically before I could respond. "You went on a date?" I teased as I watched my co-workers exiting the building across from me, getting ready to head back to their own lives for the weekend. "My little girl is all grown up now."

"_Oh, shut up_," she grumbled, though the chastisement was only half-hearted. "_I figured that, well, it was time, you know? I still love you and I've held on to this ridiculous notion that somehow we could be more – that I could, I don't know,_ turn you straight _or something equally mortifying – when I knew that it was an impossibility." _

While I knew it wasn't completely my fault, that I hadn't led her on or given her a reason to think that we would ever be anything other than friends, I couldn't help the way my heart clenched at her words, immediately taking on the blame and shouldering the guilt. "I'm –"

"_If you're going to say that you're sorry, Jazz, you don't need to_," she cut me off, the change in her demeanor obvious as she let out a little sigh. "_I'm not. I'm glad that I met you, that I got to know you and that I get to call you my best friend._ _You can't help that you don't see me the same way that I see you and I _get_ that, okay?"_

There was a short lull in the conversation as I processed her words, idly wondering what I'd done to deserve to have someone as selfless as Alice in my life. "Alright, Ali, I'll stop apologizing though, I _do_ love you and that's not going to change just because of a guy." Pausing, I contemplated the idea that had sprung up in my mind just a few minutes prior. "You know," I started after a moment, "I was wondering if, maybe, you'd like to get to know him, too? He'd – I'd like –" Huffing in frustration, I dropped my hand from squeezing the steering wheel. "I _really_ like him and you're my best friend, your opinion matters so I'd like it if you two could become friends as well."

"_Okay_," Alice countered, the singular word drawn out and fading off into a quiet sigh at the end. "_So, what are you trying to say_?"

A part of me wanted to tell her to forget that I'd mentioned it, smack myself in the head for considering the option and making our normal Saturday date into something else altogether. It wasn't as if I could take back what I'd said, though, so I soldiered on with the hope that Alice wouldn't become upset at my suggestion. I wanted her to be happy that she'd be able to interrogate Edward like any good friend would be and I hoped that her protective nature would supersede any hurt that could possibly be caused by bringing another person into our longstanding tradition.

"I was – would you mind if Edward hung out with us tomorrow? I know that it's supposed to be _our _day but –"

Alice cut me off before I could finish my thought once again and I exhaled a relieved sigh at her acquiescence, thankful that my request hadn't been met with a flat-out refusal or any kind of stubbornness on her part. We continued talking for a few more minutes, mostly catching up on the things we'd both missed since we'd since last seen each other, until I realized that I'd been sitting in my car for close to an hour. As my stomach rumbled, making its need for food known, we ended the phone call with promises to meet at our usual time the next morning.

I returned to the barracks room a few short minutes later, after having called Edward and relayed the following day's plans to his voicemail. As I walked in, through my door and out into the common area, I noted that it was quiet and that the door to the room across the hall from mine was wide open and dark. Knowing that James wasn't around quelled my nerves about what was to come in less than twenty-four hours immensely and I immediately headed toward the kitchen and began to forage for food. There wasn't much in the way of choices but I just didn't feel like ordering out again. The roller coaster of emotions that I'd felt over the past week, and even in just the past couple hours, had moved to a point way past mere exhaustion and I knew that it'd be an early night for me. I always looked forward to the weekend, ever since I'd joined the military, as the two days respite from work was more than welcome by the end of the week but, now, I had even more of a reason to feel that way.

After eating, I took a quick shower, rushing through the normal routine and thinking of anything and everything I could that was of the non-sexual realm. Self-gratification just wasn't as gratifying as it'd once been now that I'd discovered what it could be like with Edward anything – _everything_ – else was sub-par at best. That knowledge was a double-edged sword, though, as I was now constantly aroused. I groaned out loud as I realized that in my avoidance, my thoughts had gone right back to where I didn't want them to be and my hand quickly darted out to turn the water from hot to cold so I could finish up and get to bed. Exiting the bathroom with a towel wrapped around my waist, I made my way back to my room and got dressed quickly before falling into bed and grabbing my phone. I smiled when I saw a text message from Edward waiting to be read in my inbox and navigated through the various menus to retrieve it. My eyes greedily devoured the words that Edward had typed out in between clients and, checking the time, a disgruntled sound escaped my mouth. He'd asked that I call him back if I was available before his next appointment which had already started, unfortunately. However, Edward had ended it on a positive note, confirming the plans for the following day and expressing that he couldn't wait to see me as well. The reminder that this _relationship_ of sorts wasn't one-sided bolstered my mood and, with a quick apology for receiving it too late to actually call, I returned the sentiment before setting my alarm and settling in to my bed, surprised at how quickly sleep claimed me.

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

Miraculously – and a first for a weekend morning – I woke up early, before my alarm went off and with enough time to go for a run first. I dressed in the typical PT uniform hastily before rushing out the door, deciding before I'd bounded down the stairs that I would stay on post instead of heading to the park like I had the previous Sunday. The work out was invigorating and helped ease the residual nerves that still lingered and, once back at the barracks, I showered and dressed hastily, pausing only to peruse my closet like a girl going on her first date before I managed to shake off that line of thought. I was certain that, while Alice had a tendency to make a big deal out of what I wore on my downtime, Edward wouldn't particularly care either way as long as I showed up. Finally deciding on a simple pair of jeans and a vintage band t-shirt, I paced around the room as I waited for Alice to call and let me know that she'd arrived and was waiting for me at the gate. The ringing of my phone startled me from my thoughts and an uncontrollable grin appeared on my face as I noted the name before answering with a _be right there_ before ending the call and dropping the device in my pocket. Surely, Alice would be annoyed that I'd hung up on her but, hopefully, she'd be even happier that I wasn't dawdling like I would on any other day. Usually, when she called to let me know that she'd arrived, I'd just barely gotten out of bed so this was definitely a break from routine and one that I knew she wouldn't really find reason to complain about.

As I pulled out of the gate and spotted Alice's bright yellow car with her tiny frame perched on the hood. I grinned widely as I pulled up beside her, rolling down the window.

"Ready?" I asked, suddenly feeling giddier than I already was. "Are you following me or are we riding together?"

Shifting forward, Alice tilted her head to the side as she smiled, though it didn't quite reach her eyes. "I think I'll follow you, just in case. I don't want to be stranded if you blow me off again." She laughed as if joking but I could feel the underlying tension radiating off of her body. The complete one-eighty in her demeanor made me question whether or not this was a good idea. Taking a deep breath, I nodded before rolling the window back up and exhaled softly as I shifted into drive again. As we drove, my eyes continued to travel to the rearview mirror while my thoughts remained stuck on Alice's sudden shift in behavior. She claimed that she was fine last night, that we were okay, and she'd sounded fine on the phone. In person, though, I could see the strain it took for her to maintain the outward calm. Alice had never given me a reason not to believe her in the time that we'd been friends and it was hard to think that she would start lying now. It was possible that I was projecting my own anxieties, making trouble where there wasn't any to be found.

Parking, I exited the vehicle and stretched before making my way to where Alice stood waiting and, like was normal for us, offered her my arm in greeting. "Are you sure you're okay, Ali? That _we're_ okay?" I asked as she linked her arm through mine and leaned her head against my shoulder. "I mean, you said that you were last night but earlier you just seemed kind of … I don't know, like you didn't really want to do this."

"Don't worry that pretty little head of yours, Jazz. You'll end up with a head full of gray hairs if you don't learn to relax soon." Nodding in acknowledgment of her words, my steps slowed as we neared the entrance to the restaurant and I opened the door, ushering Alice inside ahead of me.

"If you're sure, I don't want you to be uncomfortable." Cringing as Alice reached up and pinched my cheek, I patted the top of her head in a playfully condescending manner. "I also don't want you ogling him when I can't, which actually brings me to my next question … why did you choose The Blue Moon? Turtle Bay is a little out of the way, isn't it?"

With a look that mirrored my own, Alice snorted while shaking her head. "Of course it's a little out of the way. Would you rather be some place in town where anyone could just walk in? I know that you guys won't be all over each other in public but I'd think that you, of all people, would appreciate the privacy. So what if it's out of the way _and_ on a resort? That just means that most of the people around here are tourists – _visiting_ – and couldn't care less what, or who, you do."

I couldn't help but roll my eyes at her even though I knew she was right and appreciated her foresight. "For the record, little miss know-it-all, I haven't _technically_ done _him_ yet," was my quick and witty retort which earned me a pinch in the arm for my efforts.

"Semantics, Jasper, semantics."

With that, our conversation drew to an end and I turned to take in the interior of the restaurant. As my eyes wandered, I felt Alice stiffen beside me, her body leaning further into me while the arm that had been linked through mine moved to wrap around my waist in one swift, smooth movement. Unsure as to what had caused the sudden change in her yet again, I turned my head toward her, the question on my lips dying as I spotted Edward walking out from a side alcove that I hadn't noticed when we'd first entered the establishment.

I watched a beatific smile light up Edward's face as soon as his eyes found mine, his shoulders relaxing into a more natural pose as he moved toward us. Alice hadn't let up on her hold since before I'd spotted Edward and I could practically feel the tension radiating off her body. She finally cleared her throat and stuck her hand out, posture stiff and unyielding as she greeted Edward with a murmured _hello_ and a tight nod. For his part, Edward appeared completely nonplussed by her less than enthusiastic greeting but politely returned the gesture. An awkward air descended after that as Edward and I alternated between looking at each other and taking in what was around us. To anyone else, it probably looked like a young girl introducing her boyfriend to another family member, what with Alice's arm still wrapped around me and I snickered softly to myself at that thought. _If they only knew_.

Grabbing hold of Alice's hand with my own, I moved her arm so that it hung between us – noticing the flicker of a frown that passed across her face before she composed herself – and waved my free hand toward the hostess stand a few feet away. "Shall we?" I asked, letting Edward walk ahead as my gaze landed on his ass and the way the dark blue denim molded to him just right. A shiver ran down my spine as my thoughts wandered, unwittingly, to the last time that we'd been alone together. The disgruntled sound that came from my side pulled me back to the present and I smirked as Alice shook her head at me, muttering under her breath and dragging me along behind her. I hadn't even noticed that we were being led to a table and I noted that it, just like the restaurant itself, was a little out of the way, off in a corner and slightly secluded.

Releasing the hold I had on Alice's hand, I reached around and pulled a chair out for her, waiting until she was seated before moving to take my own. Noting that Edward was still standing as well, I hesitated for a moment, uncertainty no doubt clear on my face as we looked at each other. A loud, annoyed huff from Alice broke the staring contest as she tugged on my belt loops, forcing me into a chair. I'd never experienced this side of her before and it both worried and frustrated me; her mood swings were going from one extreme to the other about as quickly as I could blink. She kept saying that she was okay and, if I hadn't been convinced before, I certainly wasn't now. It was almost as if by insisting that she was fine, she was really trying to convince herself. Sighing, I internally shook my head, scolding myself for thinking that this would be a good idea, for believing that just maybe my best friend would be – _could be_ – happy for me.

Looking around the table, my gaze flitting back and forth between Alice and Edward, I found myself wondering if it wouldn't be best to just call it a day. Despite her words, Alice looked like she'd rather have been anywhere but there, with me and Edward. The look of concentration on her face quickly morphed into one of determination before fading into something that resembled cheerfulness when she noticed me looking. A small smile flirted across her lips before she turned her attention to Edward. He cleared his throat, shifting to get comfortable as he looked at me, grin in place, before turning toward Alice.

"It's nice to see you again, Alice," he stated with a smile, placing his hands on the table. Unwittingly, my eyes dropped to his fingers and I swallowed thickly before shaking my head at myself and my one-track mind.

It was like watching a tennis match as my gaze went from one to the other and I barely managed to suppress a groan. Alice smiled, though it didn't quite reach her eyes and appeared off somehow as she looked Edward up and down. "You too … _Eddie_," was her prompt response, the emphasis on the nickname that she'd taken it upon herself to give him slightly venomous. Never, in all the time that I'd known Alice, had I ever felt the need to yell at her – _really_ yell at her – until now. I wasn't sure what had come over her, what she was playing at, but it worried and frustrated me at the same time.

Once again, the volley was served and I turned to Edward, awaiting his reply and watching as he coughed and sputtered with an incredulous look on his face. Recovering quickly, though, a smug, self-assured look appeared on his face as he arched an eyebrow in question. "How have you been?" The words were cordial, much more civil than I would have been had our roles been reversed.

Smiling sweetly, I felt more than saw Alice lean closer to me as she crossed one leg over the other beneath the table and shook out the cloth napkin before spreading it over her lap. "I've been busy, actually. With June being the beginning of summer and the onset of wedding season, the bakery's had a lot of business lately so I've been spending a lot of time working." A short shrug followed this statement as Alice brushed a hand through her hair while idly tapping the table in front of her.

"That's a good thing, though, right?" Edward asked after a moment, genuinely interested in getting to know Alice – something that I was both relieved about and thankful that at least one of them was making an effort here.

"For the bakery, yes. Doesn't do so much for the social life, though … right, Jazz?" Startled, I tore my eyes from Edward's profile to look down at Alice's hand as it rested on my forearm, patting it appreciatively and almost possessively. Confused, I looked between her and Edward repeatedly, unsure how to respond to her question.

Fortunately – or maybe unfortunately – Alice didn't give me time to answer as her grip on my arm tightened and she turned back to Edward, head tilted to the side with what most would construe as an adorably innocent look on her face. Considering how this day had gone so far, though, I couldn't help but dread whatever it was that was about to come from her mouth next.

"So, Eddie, how about you? Pierce any _interesting_ places lately?"

Before I could intervene and attempt to steer the conversation to more neutral territory, the waitress arrived, pen and pad poised to take our orders. Breathing a sigh of relief, I glanced down at my menu before deciding that it's breakfast and you can't really go wrong with typical breakfast fare. Placing my order of bacon and eggs, I extracted my arm from Alice's hold and leaned back in my seat as I took a deep breath. Even though I'd wanted nothing more than to spend time with Edward this weekend, regardless of what we were doing, Alice's antics throughout the morning had me wishing that I was anywhere else – even if that meant being back at the barracks with James breathing down my neck. As the waitress retreated, heading back into the kitchen, I tuned back into the conversation and felt myself smirking at Edward's reply.

"I guess the answer to that question would depend on your definition of _interesting_," Edward stated, his voice challenging as he began playing with the piercing at the corner of his lower lip, the movement seemingly subconscious and habitual but completely fucking hot at the same time.

Out of the corner of my eye, I watched as Alice leaned forward, elbows resting on the edge of the table, hands clasped beneath her chin. Her eyes were alight with mischief as she opened her mouth only to close it again before a wide grin overtook her face. "Have you ever done a frenum ladder?" She asked, apropos of nothing. "I never quite understood the appeal of those but, then again, I'm not a guy …"

As her words trailed off into a slight shrug, I was torn between dragging Alice to the bathroom and making sure that Edward was alright as he coughed and sputtered. My eyes were wide as I stared at Alice, mouth agape before I managed to collect my thoughts, shaking my head in consternation. "What the hell kind of a question is that?" The words were out before I had a chance to consider them and anyone, even if they were simply walking by, would have been able to hear the subtle anger and annoyance in my voice. Gesturing around the restaurant a bit wildly in disbelief that she would go _there_ in such a public setting, I huffed out loud before letting my arm fall. "Have you noticed where we are right now, Alice? Or how about the fact that there are people around and that's hardly the kind of thing you talk about at breakfast, _in a restaurant_, for crying out loud."

"What?" Alice responded with a smile as she turned her entire body so she faced me. "I was just asking the man a question, Jasper. I meant if he'd ever done the piercing _on _someone … that's what he does, isn't it? Piercings and tattoos?" Pausing, Alice smirked slightly as she raised a perfectly sculpted eyebrow in my direction. "Besides, it's not _my_ fault that _your_ mind went straight to the gutter. I'd think that you'd want to know the answer to that question, too. Though, maybe not necessarily about the frenum ladder specifically but, still …" Glancing around the room, a furrow appeared in the middle of Alice's forehead before she met my gaze once more. "Not to mention that I highly doubt anyone _here_ even knows what a frenum ladder is and that's only _if_ they could actually hear us which I'm sure they can't, so chill."

Patting my shoulder, Alice made to return to her previously line of questioning as I ran my hands over my face roughly, muttering under my breath before raising my voice so that she'd be able to hear me. "That's not the point, Alice. This is neither the time nor place for that particular conversation; what the –"

"No, Jasper, it's fine," Edward cut me off as he regarded Alice with a smirk of his own as the muted clicking of metal-on-metal reached my ears before stopping suddenly as he cocked his head to one side. "To answer your question, Alice," he started, his words slow and measured. "I haven't had any clients request a frenum ladder recently but I have done them before, amongst other things. Why do you ask?"

"I just never understood the … appeal, I guess." I could see Alice fiddling with the ends of the tablecloth that hung just out of sight before she straightened up as if she'd come to some sort of conclusion. "Amongst other things, huh? Like what, if you don't mind me asking?"

Shaking his head from side to side, I watched as Edward licked his lower lip while giving Alice an amused grin, "I think I asked you a question first."

Narrowing her eyes, Alice glared across the table at him as her lips twitched in what was either restrained amusement or anger before letting out a sigh and rolling her eyes. "I was just curious as to why anyone would get something like that _there_ and thought you might know, all things considered. I'm not a guy so, obviously, I don't know how any of … that … feels but I'd imagine that it has to hurt. Plus, how the hell do you practice safe sex when you have one …" Her words trailed off as she frowned, deep in thought, "don't those things … catch … or something?

Shrugging in a nonchalant manner, Edward took another drink from his glass of water before answering. "I don't know from experience because I don't have one and I've never been with anyone who does but … it supposedly heightens the pleasure." As he twirled the glass back and forth in his hands, my eyes zeroed in on his fingers and I bit down on the corner of my lip until his voice drew my attention once more. "I couldn't tell you why anyone would get one either, except possibly for aesthetic purposes. It's not as if I have long, drawn out conversations with my clients while I have their dick in one hand and a needle in the other so I've never asked."

Raising my head as I tried to hold in my laughter as Alice snorted inelegantly beside me, I met the wide-eyed gaze of the waitress that stood just behind Edward's shoulder and felt my shoulders shaking with the restraint it took to keep from causing any more of a scene. "Sorry," I finally succeeded in getting out, ducking my head down as Edward turned around to see who it was that I was apologizing to.

"_Shit_," Edward cursed under his breath as he ran his hand through his hair repeatedly before offering his own apology to the younger woman who still hadn't said or done anything except stand there gaping at us. Her reaction sent Alice off into another fit of giggles which snapped the woman out of her trance-like state. Stepping forward cautiously, she began setting our plates down, repeating the orders back to us from memory before she scampered off in the direction that she'd come from. Meeting Edward's gaze, I couldn't stop myself from grinning at him, finding his obvious embarrassment oddly endearing, before turning to look at Alice.

"What was that you said about no one being able to hear us?" I asked.

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

The remainder of our breakfast continued in much the same manner; Edward and Alice went back and forth, trading barbs as Alice seemingly did everything she could to elicit some kind of negative reaction from Edward. Along with her pointed, borderline embarrassing questions, she continued to touch me as much as she could, though the actions were designed to appear as if they were unconscious. Under any other circumstances, I wouldn't have cared; it wasn't as if this act was old for us as we had to appear, at least publicly, like we were a couple – a happy couple at that. I could tell that Edward wasn't sure how to interpret the familiarity that Alice was displaying as he shifted uncomfortably in his seat from time to time, glancing back and forth between the two of us with a pensive expression on his face. It wasn't until her hand that had been fluttering in the air to illustrate a point in some story she was telling landed on my thigh and squeezed it that I realized what she was doing and my jaw, along with my fork, dropped as I whipped my head around to look at her, scrutinizing her face. Whether or not she realized that she'd been caught, she did nothing to give herself away and, shaking my head, I pushed away from the table and stood up.

I'd wanted Alice and Edward to meet, in some kind of official capacity, to get to know each other because I planned on – somehow – spending more time with Edward, building whatever it was that existed between us. I wanted them to be friends or, at the very least, civil toward each other but Alice had done everything she could to stake her _perceived_ claim on me, driving home the point – over and over again – that she could touch me and no one would think or look twice. She was supposed to be my best friend, one of the few people that I could depend on while I was stationed here and, to her, this was just some unequal pissing contest with me as the prize.

Muttering some half-hearted excuse, I made my way out to the terrace and leaned against the railing as I stared out at the waves crashing against the reef. After a few minutes of quiet, I felt my eyes fall close as I retrieved the pack of cigarettes from my pocket and lit one, inhaling deeply and exhaling slowly. To say that I was disappointed in Alice would have been an understatement; the fact that she'd lied to me so easily, more than once, made me wonder if I knew her at all like I thought I did. Even knowing that she'd harbored an unrequited crush on me throughout the time that we'd known each other, the last thing I'd expected was for her to stoop _this_ low, to purposely try and sabotage this … relationship with Edward.

As I watched the last of the cigarette burn down to the filter, I let the butt fall to the ground and squashed it with the heel of my shoe before looking over my shoulder. I could just barely make out the top of Alice's head as she moved about, carrying on a conversation with Edward in my absence, and I groaned out loud. Leaving the two of them alone together probably hadn't been a good idea but I'd had to get out, get away from her before I said or did something that I'd regret later. Rubbing my hands roughly over my face, I began walking back inside, dreading the reception I would receive once at the table. Surprisingly, I was met with nothing but silence as I approached, watching as Edward handed the waitress his credit card before standing from the table. His apologetic eyes met mine before he glanced toward Alice and shrugged before tucking his wallet back into his back pocket.

"I'll meet you out front?" The statement came out sounding more like a question and I nodded, still not trusting myself enough to speak without blowing up.

I waited until Edward was out of hearing range before I rounded on Alice, standing across the table from where she was still seated, her fingers wrapped tightly around her glass. Leaning forward, my hands resting on the undoubtedly expensive table cloth, I blew out a frustrated breath of air. "What the hell was _that_?" I hissed, mindful of the other patrons around us. Holding up a hand as she opened her mouth to speak, I shook my head sharply, not willing to listen to any of her excuses just yet. "You lied to me, Alice. _Lied_. To my face. I can't believe that you – that I – " Cutting myself off, I straightened up, unable to even look at her anymore. "I'm leaving. Edward has to be at work soon, I need to finish making the arrangements for my sister's visit and you obviously need to figure out what's more important to you." Stepping away from the table, I shoved my both hands in my pocket and I turned away, glad that Alice had decided to drive herself because I wouldn't have been able to sit in such a confined space with her for any extended period of time after the stunt she'd just pulled.

As I walked out the door, blinking against the sunlight, I spotted Edward leaning against the side of my car. Despite my anger toward Alice and all that had transpired, the sight of him, arms crossed face turned upward, caused a smile to break out across my face as I strode across the parking lot. Alice's car was parked a few stalls down and, halfway to my destination, I looked over my shoulder to see if she was following me out. Not spotting her, I sighed out loud, clenching my hands into fist and letting them uncurl slowly before facing Edward again. By the time I reached him, he'd stood up straight, a soft smile on his lips.

"Hey," he murmured, glancing over my shoulder for a second before meeting my gaze. "Is everything okay?" I could see his hand twitching at his side before he lifted it and ran it through his hair, tugging at the strands a bit until they stood up even more than normal.

"I … don't know," I responded with a sigh as I moved to stand next to him. "I'm sorry about that, by the way, I don't know what's gotten into her. She said that everything was fine but I should have known that it wasn't, especially since she spent all week avoiding or ignoring my calls after what happened last Saturday." Shrugging, I looked to Edward from the corner of my eye. "She didn't say anything to you when I walked out, did she?"

Feeling Edward stiffen beside me, I let out a disgruntled groan as I cursed under my breath. "I'm sorry about that, too. I saw her – sort of – from where I was standing and I didn't mean to leave you with her like that … I'd just had enough of whatever game it was that she was playing. I swear she's not usually like that."

"It's fine," Edward responded as he shifted so that he was standing in front of me instead of beside me. "And don't worry about what she said either; it was nothing that I couldn't handle." Watching his lips move, I licked my own in response as I unconsciously leaned forward. I wanted nothing more than to kiss him, to reassure the both of us that everything really was _fine_, as Edward had put it. A car door slamming a few stalls away startled me and, in my surprise, I jerked backward, catching myself on the trunk of the car.

"_Fuck_," I mumbled as I glanced around, smiling at the older couple that walked by us, their arms wrapped around each other. Returning my attention to Edward, I swallowed thickly as he took a step closer to me, his hands bracing himself on either side of my body and effectively trapping me between him and the car. The smile that lit up his face caused my breath to hitch as he leaned closer, pressing his chest against mine lightly.

"All in due time," he whispered against my ear as a stifled moan fell from my mouth. Pulling back slightly, his lips grazed my cheek, lingering at the corner of my mouth before he moved away completely. Glancing down at his crotch, I smirked as I realized that he was in the same state that I was – _hard as steel_ – and I brushed the back of my hand against the very pronounced bulge.

"I'm counting on it," I stated a bit smugly, still amazed that _I _elicited that particular reaction from him. "I think, though, that if you don't get going soon we may end up getting arrested and you're going to be late for work."

After a few more parting words, both of us knowing that if we didn't get on with it we'd end up in a precarious position in a public place and my secret would be out of my hands, I watched as Edward walked to his car before getting into my own. Thoughts of what Alice had done were back at the forefront of my mind as I sat in silence for a moment. Shaking my head rapidly to clear it, I decided that I would deal with her and whatever her issues were later, when I wasn't as upset as I was now. Starting the car, I let it idle as I grabbed my phone from my pocket, noticing the envelope icon on the screen that indicated a text message was waiting. I hadn't felt it vibrate earlier, or heard it ring and, as I pressed the _OK _button that would allow me to retrieve it, I muttered a string of obscenities before dropping the device and throwing the car into reverse.

_J ~ Changed our flight. We arrive tonight. Sorry I didn't get to call you first. ~ R_

* * *

**A/N: ***ahem* I know that it's been fucking _months_ since I last updated (I'm too scared to count exactly how many it's been) but RL has been bearing down on me since late last year. I won't go into details since a lot of it is really personal but I will say that, after getting out of the hospital this past December, I lost someone really important to me, someone that meant the world to me, in January. It was tough and, really, I'm still grieving. I do apologize for taking so long to get this story updated, especially since it's very important to me, but I hope you can all understand that my priorities are where they need to be in regards to RL and everything that's been going on. I will do my best to update as regularly as possible and am going to try and get a few more chapters written up so that I have a backlog before the next update.

That being said, I have started a new slash!fic that, so far only three people are clued in about. It came to me while I was trying to force finish this update a couple of months ago and, well, I love it. I will not be posting it, however, until I've got most of it written just so that there isn't a repeat of my update fail.

Anyway, let me know what you think of this chapter (if I have any readers left after my disappearance) and I look forward to reading your reviews.

**ACU's: **Army Combat Uniform - http:/en[dot]wikipedia[dot]org/wiki/Army_Combat_Uniform

**Turtle Bay/The Blue Moon: **While the Turtle Bay Resort is a _real_ place (on Oahu's North Shore), _The Blue Moon_ is fictional, though based off of the restaurants that the resort offers.

**Concupisco: **"To Covet." With this title/the meaning, I was trying to convey Alice's feelings toward Jasper and how threatened she feels by Edward.


End file.
